Dating Advice For Women – Mistakes & Dating Tips: You’re smart, you’re sexy, you’re confident, and you still make mistakes. It’s all good. Now I want you to look at love and life as a process of massive experimentation. Try lots of different things see what works and see what doesn’t but even still some mistakes are better off avoiding.
If you know about them in advance so here they are hey there you sexy single a tease Adam little jay from sexy confidence calm where I help the 21st-century woman create a love life that she freaks in loves.
Here are some mistakes that I’m going to help you avoid in the future and that even smart women make and quite frankly. Also if you make them, you can bounce back, but just by knowing them, you’re going to be much better off so here.
10 Dating Mistakes For Women
If you’d like to understand the big mistakes that women unconsciously make that push love and men away. Please stick around because I’m going to be sharing just that in my article today.
Hello, this is very welcome to your fabulous life to come. Today is another edition of the capital of you crave. I’m very excited and grateful to be able to talk to you today about the big mistakes that women unconsciously make. It pushes a man in the law the way one of the beautiful blessings that I get from being in this vantage point.
Suppose you could call it that of connecting with so many women who want to create love. They want, and for whatever reason, they can’t and guiding them through the process of rediscovering who they are. Finally getting what they want is the understanding of patterns of behavior that create specific results including attracting law or pushing away love.
For example, to give you a sample of 100 women, and each one of them has a different love challenge. Those love challenges are maybe five or six or seven different patterns that create those results.
Sometimes in combination, so what I’m going to be sharing with you today is 10 of those patterns that create that pushing level way.
1. Know Thyself
The first mistake that women make that push love away and push amazing guys out of their life. It is not valuing themselves enough or recognizing what they have to offer as women. Here’s the most significant thing about the whole thing. If you understand who you are on paper, but when push comes to shove, and you connect to a man you feel somehow that.
Suppose you were to see you if you were to connect your heart if you were to take everything off metaphorically speaking. But what guy would find is something that guy wouldn’t want to stay and stick around with it. You have that deep fear inside that usually will represent itself in you. It’s not showing up with a smashed shrimp or as much flexibility. So the connecting to worth failing to connect to the worth.
It’s a big mistake women make here’s why because not only this. It doesn’t allow you to show as amazing as you are. Also inherently not valuing yourself is taking less than you deserve in terms of respect, evaluating somebody, aliveness, passion, pursuit, honesty that you start making compromises. Because you feel somehow inside yourself that unless you make those compromises the man will leave.
So big mistake is not connecting to the value that you have to offer or knowing it intellectually or knowing it on paper but not feeling in your heart, feeling that you have to change something about you before. You’re fully worthy of love whether that’s your shape or your size or your income, not understanding who you are.
2. Understand Your Partner
Number two is the failure to strengthen their intuitive wisdom. A lot of women don’t understand that intuition is incredibly similar to exercising a physical muscle. So if you want to grow your biceps you exercise them right, you lift weights. But what happens when you stop exercising well, your biceps don’t just stop growing.
They start diminishing in size right there time. You are a woman who has learned through pain through this dog-eat-dog world that we live. That the way to get ahead is to think more than feeling your intuition continues to talk to you.
So your intuition is telling you to connect to a guy. It’s showing you this guy’s creepy getaway, or this guy is lying to you, or this guy is something off right this bread flags. That your intuition is telling you, please don’t get a chance to follow through on them when you push down your intuition.
What happens is when you do this enough times for an extended period? Next time you connect to someone you are desensitized to that. So it’s almost like you don’t even hear what your heart is telling you and inevitably you experience pain. Failure is the strengthen your intuitive wisdom.
It’s a big mistake that women make because it doesn’t allow them to see the truth about someone’s integrity, intentions, the primary focus, whether it’s selfish or selfless. Those are things you can only see with your heart, and your heart is very connected to your intuition.
3. Self Respect
I’m sorry he’s choosing a man, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this happen and how many times this ends in pain. Almost every single time choose a man before he chooses you. When you make the decision that any given guy is worth it, he is the guy that you want to connect. Before he is proven himself to you or he’s decided for you for himself.
There’s a humongous like feel experience pain. Why? Because you’re going to stop being you. You’re going to start doing little things to get his attention, interest, to tell him. It’s almost like one when a car salesperson says buy this car!
Can you do things that are metaphorically speaking that show that energy came like he has to like? Yeah, please love me, please connect with me! Whenever you do something like that the guy usually doesn’t wanna stick around.
So you’re pushing him away more than you’re pulling him the close belt. The anterior to that is wait until a guy claims his stake in the sand. Since I want to own your heart, he may not say in words although he might.
But when he shows that you in action at that point, the side that’s the guy you want. Because if a guy as amazing as he is on paper doesn’t have that quintessential quality of choosing you. Then you will never be happier that guy, and you’re always going to be doing things to push him away.
4. Accept Risk
Number four is not being willing to pay the price. If you listen to nothing else, I’ve said on any of my articles. But you listen to this. I think you’ll be where you will be served in a significant way.
Because here’s the thing if I’ve told you that I want to start a business, but I don’t want to risk not having an income. That I want to risk losing money, then you say you’re crazy because being in business means that you have to take some level of risk.
Now that can be an intelligent risk, and it can be a measured risk. But it still is a freaking risk I could even lose money right now. Here’s the situation most women who are not getting the love they want.
We’re pushing a little way. They have this level of comfort that they’re willing to go through in terms of opening their hearts, trusting themselves, doing things outside their comfort zone, telling themselves lies and stories.
That is keeping them small in terms of knowing their words. So there are many things that you have to do to get love the deepest level not just to get a boyfriend. But to understand love at lasts, it’s fulfilling that lasts for a lifetime.
The same thing for a guy, but if you’re a woman listening to me, there are many things you have to do to create a fantastic relationship.
There’s a high price to pay, but it’s worth it now most women who push love away aren’t alternately willing to pay the price. The cost of being vulnerable, the amount of taking a risk, the price of being hurt again. If you’re unwilling to pay the price and you cannot get the reward.
5. Text A Guy How You Feel
Now there’s once a day where if you wanted to share your feelings with someone you had to wait two or three days until you saw that person in real life. Then muster up the courage to finally say it.
But nowadays into the 21st century, we can go from impulse to a delivered message within 10 seconds depending on how fast you can text so rather than always texting what it is that you feel. I asked you to grow some of that courage and bring that to real-life interactions because that’s where real intimacy exists.
6. Bad Guy Into A Good Guy
You are trying to make a bad guy into a good guy one thing. I’ve noticed over the years of working with some really smart interesting charismatic ambitious women is that they bring that ambition to a relationship.
So they meet a guy who might be exciting and interesting. But doesn’t fit the type of man that will make her happy rather than saying you know what I’m doing with this. She goes into like repair how she wants to do everything. She can turn him into the right type of guy for her.
That ambition can hurt you when it comes to dating relationships. I urge you to rather than always try to fix things to see people for who they are. And when you see those signs if you notice that a guy is not the right guy for you got to move on and find the right guy.
7. Emotional Weakness
You are looking for the perfect partner. A lot of smart, ambitious people want to take that perfectionism attitude to real life and take it to relationships. But something I’ve learned over the years especially.
Now that I’m getting into a much more serious relationship with Jessica is that actually the more you get to know someone, the more you discover imperfections about them. It’s the fault that you find out makes you fall even deeper in love with that person.
8. Expectation & Reality
You were expecting him to be your boyfriend before he is your boyfriend. Look, it’s easy when you start meeting a guy, and things are going well to assume that you are suddenly in a relationship with someone.
My advice to you is looking unless it is explicitly clear that you are in a relationship. You have to assume that he’s probably seeing other people as well, so don’t make that assumption.
9. Validation Vulture
It is someone who is continually looking for validation for a man to say he’s attracted to her or likes her to feel fulfilled.
Men are looking to pursue someone who doesn’t need their validation. They’re looking to pursue someone who I call is on the train of glory. You can imagine that your life, your path is like a train on a track. You’re either going towards you know a horrible creepy forest on just some sad track or the train of glory.
Now the train of glory is moving towards, you know. Let’s just say like a major fun beach town, a vacation destination. It’s fast-moving, fun, an incredible place to be that should be your life regardless of whether another man validates you.
You should know that you’ve got incredible values. You’ve got a great social circle on your path to becoming the person you are meant to be. You are doing the things that you’re passionate about, and you don’t need that external validation.
Listen, you’ve got a red velvet rope in front of the train. Suppose a man wants to apply to be a part of your life if he wants to join your train of glory great. But if he’s not interested, it’s like the train stops. It’s not like the train is getting derailed. You are still on that path.
You don’t need that validation to stay on your way of glory, so that is what I mean by validation vulture. If you do that if you’re always seeking and needing him to like you to feel fulfilled. It’s going to be an instant turn off to any high-quality man. You’re ultimately not going to end up attracting the types of guys you want to attract.
10. Changing Partner
You can make falling into the change trap. Now the change trap is the trap in your brain that makes you think that a man is going to change his ways or that you can do something to change a man. Maybe you’ve thought oh well you know he was single before and you know he made a mistake, and he’s going to change now.
You know the ultimate pathway to a real healthy relationship is acceptance, just as we as people want to be accepted for who we are all of our good and all of our flaws. We don’t want people to try to change us. You know, Your partner is going to be the same way.
No one truly wants to be replaced. The truth of the matter is you don’t have the power to change anyone. You don’t have that level of control that he’s just going to change. Now what you can do and this is the best thing to do is to hold boundaries.
You know I’ve talked about this in the past about not criticizing a man, not trying to change him. I’ve talked about accepting him. That doesn’t mean that you should accept negative behavior. It doesn’t mean that you should allow him to treat you negatively. It just means that you can’t expect you to be able to change him or that behavior that you can set boundaries. We can set limits for the people and say this is what I will or won’t do. But we can only control ourselves.
So our boundaries are not saying. You have to do this, or you have to do that, you can’t make him do anything. Hold your boundaries, but don’t fall into the trap of trying to change someone or expecting that they’re going to change. It’s essential to look at their actions and expect them to be consistent with those actions can people change absolutely. When we begin to hold expectations that they’re going to change, that’s when we get into trouble.
When the drama starts, you know that the beginning of a relationship where you’re like listening, we need to talk, and the guy just hears drama. You’re like no I’m not trying to be dramatic! I wish to address this topic, and I’d like you to change this one thing.
Well, here is something you can talk about your boundaries. But the moment that you begin expecting that change, that’s when conflict occurs. The real solution here is to have your limits and be willing to walk away from someone who’s not treating you so that you deserve to be treated rather than spending too much time and energy trying to change them.
14 Dating Advice For Women
In just the past year alone, I’ve heard the dating experiences of hundreds of ambitious women. I’ve identified some actions that they’re doing that destroy their chances of getting into a committed relationship with a high-quality man.
Today we’re going to go into The Do and Don’t of Dating. We focus all about relationships. Many of you are not in a relationship and probably out there mingling and in the dating world.
I’m finding that we are committing some crimes here, ladies, and if you’re out in the dating world. I’m going to get into what to look out for and what to stop doing.
So here we go the women dating tips for new and old relationships.
1. Don’t Talk About Ex
DON’T: Talk about your ex or past relationships. “Oh, you have a puppy? Oh, that reminds me of my dog that I had with my ex.” If you are going on a date, remember that you don’t need to get into a soft story about what happened in your past and your last relationship. Your current dating partner does not want to hear that.
DO: Answer questions honestly, but keep in mind that you don’t have to go in detail. For instance, if the guy. you’re on a date with asks you, “So when was your last relationship?” It’s fair to say, “Three months ago, one week ago, one year ago.” That’s perfectly okay, but you don’t need to understand why your past relationship didn’t work and how you felt with it.
2. Maintain Good Conversation
DO: Talk about yourself: Your hobbies, thinking, favorite things.
DON’T: Talk about yourself in excess. “Oh, you look like, oh my god. I totally like climb Mt. Zion, swimming oh I swim every single day. Do you like Jordans? Me too!” So remember, on these dates, you’re here to get to know another person.
You guys are here to get to know each other, and as nerve-racking a date can be, remember that you’re not going overboard and vomiting all over the place about who you are, what you do, and what you like much to the point where everything reverts to you.
Remember, if you’re getting nervous, just breathe and get to know this person. That is the whole intention of a date.
3. Don’t Drink Too Much
DON’T: Drink too much. It’s perfectly normal to get those nerves and feel a little bit shy on your first date. The first thing that comes across your mind may be getting a little loose with a few cocktails. But don’t get too drunk. You don’t want this man to see your crazy side just yet.
DO: Have a one to a two-drink minimum. I know that we want to loosen up a bit. Maybe we have these nerves, and perhaps that’s the first thing that you want to go to, but give yourself a limit. Give yourself enough to loosen up. But still where you are coherent and able to take on this date. You don’t want to drink too much because you don’t want to get sick in front of your date. That’s gross.
4. Don’t Be A Dominating Lady
DON’T: Dominate the date, ladies. “Are you sure you want to order that? Because last time I had that I didn’t like out I mean, I’m not sure if you’re going to like it. But I really wouldn’t recommend you doing that. Oh and
then oh no after – I don’t just complete show you.”
Again we talked about how uncomfortable the first dates are, and it’s very natural. Everyone goes through that, nervous. You know the time. However, do not think that you can get over that uncomfortable hump, by choosing your date, where you want to go, what you want to eat, wishing for your partner.
If you’re dating a man, ladies, let him be a man. Don’t dominate over the date and the conversation. Like we said before, we don’t want to speak in excess about yourself. You want to get to know the person, but sometimes when we get nervous, it’s only you know normal for us to try to control everything about the date, don’t.
DO: Let the date flow, and get back to your natural energy. You know when you take off the control of you, see where the date should go. What expectations you have on the date, you allow that other person to feel free. So what you see is that once you release that energy, you’ll notice that the date flows a little better. And this is where you can get to know if this date is working and if this is something that you want to, you know continue, or if it’s not.
5. Don’t Talk About Marriage
DON’T: Talk about marriage or kids on this date. “So, what do you feel about marriage? When do you want to get married? How many kids do you want to have? Because I’m thinking about like having like two or three, is that good with you?” You’re trying to get to know someone, ladies.
The first thing to ever mention about marriage or kids is probably going to scare off any man. They just want to come. They’re mostly focusing on living in the moment. So if you’re going there, that’s what you should be doing.
You barely just know his name, so stick with the basics you know what he does. Maybe what he loves to do doesn’t get into where this relationship will be going in the future.
DO: Talk about future aspirations with personal goals. That’s something that’s a good topic in dates. Suppose you’re running out of things to say. Maybe ask a little bit more about what they love to do, or you know what goals are trying to achieve.
You know, perhaps you’ll see some similarities in that. That’s an actual good topic for a date because that’s endless, but still, just remember never to throw all your cards on the table of the things that you want intimately with a spouse.
A big fat no to end with ladies gets off your damn cell phone! Seriously. “Oh, do you mind taking a picture of me? I mean, you can get in it too, but I just want to put this on Instagram.” We have so many distractions. It’s already nerve-racking to be on a date, but it’s so disrespectful also if you have your cell phone, or you’re texting someone, or you’re on your social media doing a selfie.
We need to take that off. We need to be present with who is on a date. Again this state might be the date from hell, or you may find that this date is something that lasts or jumps you into something beautiful.
You will never know that unless you’re so present with the person that you’re spending time. So like always ladies, I’m here every Thursday for TLC Thursday, and I want you to think about this when you’re in the dating world.
Think about what it is that you’re saying that could be scaring off a potential spouse. Again, don’t think of it as a future husband, or where your dream is going to go.
6. Try To Maintain Quality
I don’t just mean sex. What I mean is showing a man that you are committed to him. Only him a little bit too soon before he’s proven himself to you. When I say proven himself, it means that as I said before, there should be a high standard for yourself that you have for allowing the people into your life, enabling yourself to get into a relationship.
There should be a standard. There should be that red velvet rope that a man has to pass through. To do that, he has to reciprocate. There has to be some form of partnership.
Suppose you lay down that card too soon where he hasn’t genuinely proven to you. He’s fully committed or sufficiently interested or that he’s pulling his weight or being considerate and caring, showing you all of the character traits that you truly deserve.
If he hasn’t done that and you’re already laying down the commitment card. You’re pretty much ending the possibility of the relationship progressing. Because by doing that, you’re essentially letting him know that your standards are low and that he can treat you in a certain way.
You’re still going to commit to him. You’ve trained him that he doesn’t have to treat you in the way that you deserve to be treated. Because we train people how to treat us through our boundaries and if you lay down that commitment card too soon, let him know that he’s the one, and he hasn’t fully proven to you or shown you.
It’s just setting yourself up for failure, so that is the mistake that you can make when dating, and that leads me to a dating mistake.
7. Don’t Be Dependable
I’m not reciprocating when you lay down your commitment card but a sponge supporter. It means that you keep giving you keep accommodating, and you’re just never getting that reciprocated, you know.
I remember I had a client, and she would always do such sweet things for her boyfriends. She would get him incredible birthday presents. She would go shopping, get food that he liked.
She would cook food for him, and when they were done eating, she would be the one that would clean stuff up. She would just keep giving and giving him. When it was time for her birthday, he would either forget or know he would give her a card just something very or maybe take her out to dinner.
But for the most part, he would just say oh, I’m not a gifted guy! You know it’s like when you’re in a relationship, you can’t just be a sponge. So if you find that you stay in a relationship with someone, that’s not genuinely reciprocating.
They’re not compromising, you know. Maybe their schedule doesn’t fully match with yours. You find that you’re always accommodating their schedule.
You’re always travelling to them, or they’re still coming to your house and using your stuff and eating your food. It’s essential to make sure that their actions are reciprocal that they’re just not the constant sponge that they are pulling their weight because a relationship is a partnership.
It is the big dating mistake that you can make because nobody wants to be in a committed lifelong relationship with a sponge. It never works, and someone is always unhappy.
8. Stay Away From Emotional Lies
Now in any relationship, when we’re in it, we feel such strong emotions. Sometimes it can even feel like a rollercoaster. But unfortunately, when we feel strong emotions, we can attach meaning to certain things that happen. So we can almost morph the meaning of words.
That’s not always helpful because when we attach meaning, we can sometimes sway the reality of the situation.
So it’s important not always to listen to your emotional lies. But to start to look at things objectively. One of the best ways to look at your relationship more objectively is to ask yourself the question.
What if he treated the woman that I value most in this world this way? What if he did this to the woman that I truly appreciate? What would I tell her to do? What would I expect her to do?
It changes our perspective. Why shouldn’t we treat or act in the same way that we want the person we value most in the world to be treated or to work. So, when we do that, it puts everything in perspective and helps us get outside our emotional lives.
9. Playing Games
It is when you’re not true to your authentic self. It’s like he texts you, the text comes in, and you’re like, “I could text him back.
But you know what? I’ve been told that waiting draws more desire or creates a passion for him. I’m going to wait a day.” Or he asked you out, and you’re not busy, you could hang out. But you tell them you’re busy because you’re just trying to create the appearance that you have a beautiful life.
Everyone has an authentic meter in them, and we can feel the authenticity meter in each other.
For example, you and I have an authenticity meter. And when we’re authentic to who we are, it’s right in the centre. It’s aligned with who you are. But when you’re trying to be something you’re not, it goes to the side, and it’s like you’re off centres, you’re off balance.
People can sense this when you’re off balance. What you want to do is bring it back to the center to be yourself. Because when you’re yourself, he’s going to feel that in you and be drawn to you.
10. Being Too Aloof
It is where you don’t show that you’re interested in him. You don’t give him compliments. You don’t tell him you’re attracted to him. You don’t get excited when he calls. It’s this because women will often put on this facade of playing hard to get like I’m not interested.
The challenge is men don’t invest in relationships where they don’t feel like it’s got a shot or a chance. One of the ways we know, hey, this might go somewhere is if you’re giving us or showing us interest.
Now, you don’t want that pendulum to swing to the extreme, and we’re going to talk about that in just a moment, but showing interest, letting him know you’re attracted to him.
Letting him know you’re interested in him and letting him know you want him to draw him in.
11. Accept The Reality
The opposite of being too aloof, and that’s treating him as if he’s perfect. I remember one of my best friends was dating this woman. He liked her, and they were spending the night together.
He was telling me that they were brushing their teeth about ready to go to bed, and she stops brushing her teeth.
She looks over at him, and she goes, “Oh my god, you are perfect.” He said he wanted to cringe and just run. Because he knows he’s not perfect. He knows he’s got a bunch of flaws. And if she is saying you are perfect, men take that as if you’re putting him on a pedestal.
You’ve got a false view of him. And the moment you get to know him, the moment you see that he is flawed, and he’s got a bunch of things that aren’t perfect, you’re not going to want him.
You’re not going to love him anymore. What’s way more powerful is to have the vibration of love and acceptance, that you’re into him but that you’re willing to love him for his imperfections, that you’re willing to accept him for who he is in this. You’re not putting him on this false pedestal.
Being loved and accepted for who we are is one of the strongest draws. The most reliable forms of connections we can have as human beings.
12. An Attitude Of Entitlement
Nobody likes people who feel entitled. You don’t want people who feel entitled. And men, we don’t like people who feel entitled. Here’s the challenge. As a man, we know that one of our roles is to provide.
It’s been that way for thousands of years. And whether or not you can provide equally as he can provide, it’s hardwired in us that ability to deliver. Men who have done a successful job at earning money for themselves, they become financially successful. Often, it’s effortless for women to take advantage of that situation.
And most men have felt taken advantage of where women expect beautiful things, expect excellent restaurants, expect to be taken out, and buy me this, and fly me here, and do this for me.
That attitude of entitlement is incredibly off-putting. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t want or like beautiful things or even want him to pay. I believe he should be paying.
He should be providing. He should be taking out, even though you might be making more money than he is. He should be leading with that. But here’s a straightforward, simple way to flip the script and instead of pushing him away with entitlement, draw him in with gratitude.
No matter what level of success we are in our lives. And what I’ve come to find is the most successful people in the world are often the ones who are humble, who are often the ones who are first to say thank you, who are first to live from this state of gratitude.
Wow, I love this. Thank you for this dinner. It is such amazing, highly successful people. I mean, truly successful people, live from that vibration. That’s one of the things I love about my wife. I mean, our finances are merged.
And even when I take her out for a date night, I pay. I pay for the bill, and she’ll say, “Thank you so much.
It was terrific.” She shows gratitude at that moment. I know that she’s paying for half the bill. Our finances are merged. But just the appreciation is so endearing, and it draws him in.
13. Emasculating Behavior
Now, I know that I’m going to get blowback for this one. I understand that some of you are not going to like this. You’re going to disagree with this one.
But it’s true. Now, we first have to define what is weakening act because there’s a lot of connotations out there and concepts for what it is.
Simply put, emasculating behavior demonstrates that you don’t believe he has what it takes to accomplish the job. Simply put, you don’t think that he can do it. That’s emasculating behavior.
It often shows up as innocent suggestions. It usually shows up as you try to help or step in because you know how to do the thing better and show them how to do it more efficiently and with a better outcome.
But the challenge is, men, we have this deep wired need to provide and for the ability to figure this out. So you got to ask yourself, is it worth getting the job done faster? Is that benefit worth the disconnect that you create with emasculating behavior? I’ll just give you an example. I’ve shared this in another video because it’s so clean. It’s such a clear example.
I’m cutting an onion, helping my wife with dinner. She asked me, “Will you cut this onion?” So I’m cutting this onion. She comes over, and she goes, “Honey, you’re not cutting the onion in the right way.
You got to turn it like this and cut it like this.” Now, I would have gotten to the same outcome at the end of the day with that onion. I would’ve diced it into tiny little pieces.
But her coming over and saying, “You’re not cutting it the right way,” I instantly felt this wall come up. Yes, I know she’s better at cutting onions.
Yes, I know she’s a better cook. But what that communicates, even in an underlying way, is that she doesn’t believe that I can do it and that I didn’t provide the job she wanted.
Or let’s say that your husband isn’t as handy around the house. He’s fixing the toilet or the little drain plug in the stopper. The water’s leaking down there, and he’s trying to figure it out.
You know how to do it, and you can do it faster. At that moment, you’ve got to decide, am I going to say, “Honey, you’re not doing this right.
Step aside. Let me do this,” which is emasculating behavior, or let him figure it out? I know that it might be tempting to step in. But the bond you form by letting him do the job is incredible, especially if you make him figure it out and then celebrate him for a job well done.
It is momentous for men. On the flip side of that, the emasculating behavior’s cost degrades the connection in the relationship. So here’s kind of the rule of thumb. If he’s not going to hurt himself and he’s not going to hurt anyone else, let him figure it out.
Let him proceed. And if you do want to make a suggestion, here’s a couple, or create a correction, here’s a couple of phrases that you can use is, “Hey, honey, can I make a suggestion?” or, “Are you open to some feedback?”
Because that question, that lead-in, if he says yes, then he’s open to it, and he receives it much, much better and more effectively. Letting him do the job creates an even more reliable connection with him.
14. Instant Relationship
When you’re dating someone, it’s straightforward to fall into the pattern of just trying to get him to like you before you even know if you want him.
I see that pattern happens a lot and that kind of design where he can feel that you’re just trying to get him to like you before you’ve decided if you like him or want a long-term relationship.
You’ve sort of just assumed I want this instant relationship. That is repelling to men because men want to feel chosen. Men want to feel selected, selected above all the other options you have.
All the other amazing men you could choose from all of them are adopting him. Every human being, that’s a very, very powerful feeling to feel accepted.
Isn’t it? When he says, “I want you. Out of all these other people, you matter to me. You’re important to me. You’re beautiful, amazing. And I think you will be a fantastic person in my life.
We can have a fantastic relationship together.” Well, he wants to feel that same way. So when you get into a relationship and just try to get him to like you, that communicates, wow, she’s willing to have this instant relationship with me.
There’s something called the commitment connection factor. Here’s what it means. When the connection leads the commitment, these two factors are joined by an energetic cord, if you will. And when you’re deepening the relationship.
It pulls the commitment forward. It’s like if a guy goes on a first date with you and pulls out an engagement ring and then proposes, you’d be like. “No,” and you would think he would be crazy, and you wouldn’t want to date him again.
Why? Well, Because you don’t have a connection with him. You date that same guy for a year, have a fantastic relationship with him, and a year later he gets on his knee and proposes to you, now you’re in tears.
You’re happy. You hug him. You say, “Yes, this is amazing.” Why? Because you have a deep, profound connection with him. So when the link is outpacing the commitment, it draws the relationship forward.
However, when the commitment gets out in front of the relationship, that’s when that cord breaks, and the connection drops. So when a woman says gives the impression that she’s like, “I want to be committed. I want to have kids right away. I want to get married right away.
I want,” When he feels that rush of commitment, it can kill the connection. So let the connection lead. Let the relationship deepen, and that will naturally draw the responsibility forward for both of you.
So my question for you is, what behaviors do men do that push you away? It is precious for men to hear this so that they can know what behaviors you want them to do that draw him closer to you.
If you’re dating, be present with that person. Because you’re still trying to find out you know who they are. And what you like, and you may date a couple of guys. But if you can stick to these tips, I’m sure your dating life will be a success. So please message me your insights, and like always, I’m available for you to comment you know email, social media, whatever it is I’m here for you.
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