Today we are discussing the top dating mistakes women make in relationships. In the past year alone, I’ve heard the dating experiences of hundreds of ambitious women. I’ve identified some actions that they’re doing that destroy their chances of getting into a committed relationship with a high-quality man.
I’m Dr. Jasica, the dating coach for ambitious women. I’m revealing to you every week’s dating and attraction strategies to attract high-quality men into a committed lifelong relationship.
I want you to look at love and life as a massive experimentation process, try lots of different things, see what works, and see what doesn’t. But even still, some mistakes are better off avoiding if you know about them in advance.
I’ve noticed about sexy, confident women versus women who seem to kind of struggle in love is not how many mistakes they make are how they perceive themselves after the mistake is made.
30 Dating Mistakes Women Make In Relationship
When she makes mistakes, she seems to believe it’s a reflection of herself and her self-worth. When a sexy, confident woman makes a mistake, she looks at it as more of a learning experience. It’s a way she can learn and change for the better. Here are common dating mistakes that I’m going to help you avoid in the future.
Let’s jump right into the 30 mistakes you can altogether avoid and be more attractive to higher quality men now.
1. Women Dress Too Sexy
Guys are visually weird. We know that. They become sexually aroused too quickly, but if you look so good that he can’t hear a word you’re saying. It is not going to help you get a long-term boyfriend. It might help you get a hookup if that’s what you want.
- You can’t dress too sexy at the beginning. Many guys have this Madonna-whore complex in their heads, and they’re going to put you in one category and not the other. So please maintain your dress up and be good looking.
2. Lack Of Mental Connection
Studies show that good guys can delay gratification and wait for it. It’s a great test to see if he will be able to wait a little bit. There’s no rule on when you should have sex. But I like to say have sex when you have trust when you’re close enough to have that conversation about STDs and protection, all that kind of stuff.
- Men are curious about women’s bodies. If you give it to them fastly, then they lose interest in you fastly. At first, you need to create a strong mental connection, and then you can do it mentally. Scientists say that a mental relationship is a prime ingredient for a happy physical relationship.
3. Chasing With Guy
The biggest thing that women do that’s a dating mistake is they chase men. I’m sorry but let me explain some basic biology to you ladies. Sperm chases egg, not in reverse. God invented text. I mean, Steve Jobs invented text so that the guys could chase us.
- So, look down your iPhone! Are there more texts from you or incoming from him? Do you initiate the chase? Or they coming back? Ladies need to chill and contain yourself. Usually, guys like what they can’t have. You’ve got to be a little mysterious and let them chase you. They will like you more.
4. Fantasizing About Expectation
The early dating mistake that women make when they’re dating is fantasizing about how great the relationship could be. How wonderful he is instead of looking at reality and interviewing him again. Remember, you are sitting in a chair taking applications.
- They are submitting applications. The risks of having sex with him are much higher for you. I mean, you could get an STD or an unwanted pregnancy that could last like the 18 years of parenthood or a broken heart. He could have a bad night. My suggestion is to chill, slow down, be happy and busy, and the guys will be calling.
5. Comparing Yourselves With Others
We see other couples on the internet on social media, and we assume they are real. We start comparing ourselves with them. You see these cool couples being lovey-dovey, you playing pranks on each other, buying PS5, and all that. You say, why can’t I be like that? Why can’t my relationship be like that? You start comparing before you know you’re bringing strife into your relationship.
- We forget that human beings are selfish. We want people to adore us, to see us as if we are unique. So, people only post the good things they want you to see. They don’t post the dark side. You don’t know what they are going through at home. You don’t have to wake up fighting with each other, and then here you are, killing yourself, harassing your man. Because he’s not so romantic like the guy and the girl you saw on the internet.
6. Nagging All Time
Another tip I’m going to say is ‘nagging.’ Women do this a lot. Men do not like it. Men do not like it when we nag. There are so many ways to sort out an issue to express yourself to your mind without nagging, mumbling to yourself, frowning your face all the time instead of saying you always do this.
- Why don’t you say, ‘Babe, I don’t like it when you do this. Can we try it this way?’ Nagging and repeating yourself and saying the same thing over and over again are the sign of being passive-aggressive.
- It does not help your relationship in any way, and if you start doing that before you know your mind starts withdrawing, let’s work on that.
7. Lack Of Patience
One mistake we all make at one point or the other in our life is jumping into bed too soon with a man. I know it’s human nature, biology, chemistry, physics, and whatnot. But then how many men are you going to sleep with? You jump into bed with men too soon, and this ends up affecting you later on.
- It is not just a relationship. You meet this person. What happens to get to know them? Observing them and knowing what they’re all about and knowing if you have something in common. And then, deciding if you want to take that plunge with them. Does it make sense? I hope it does.
8. Depriving Of Personal Space
Men sometimes have issues. They are not as expressive as women. Sometimes when they are moody, something is disturbing them, they want to be on their own. They want that space, and then you’re all up in their face like, ‘What’s up! What’s going on? Why are you not talking to me? Why are you not doing this? Why are you ignoring me?’ They aren’t ignoring you. They want that space.
- The beauty of being in a relationship is that two different people form a partnership and form a bond. That doesn’t mean that they are the same people. What you do is give them their space. So, they do what they want to do. They can have time to brood, be the man they want to be, and when they are okay, they will come back. Phenomenons like these make it more beautiful.
9. Involving Personal Parties
Stop involving parties in your relationship. I know how we all have this and tell our best friend or tell our mom or call our sister and say, ‘He did this, he did that. He’s not doing this’ Sometimes it is a problem.
There’s nothing wrong with vetting out and telling those close to you what you’re going through, and then they’d advise you. What happens when they tell you, ‘When he comes back, do not forgive him’ and then he comes back and says, ‘Baby, I’m sorry.
- Let’s makeup and I say, ‘No’ Because you listen to the advice or you’re telling your people, your friends, and your family these things about your man. They stop looking at him the same. They stop respecting him. They start telling you what to do.
- How to leave your relationship? Nobody knows your man as you do. So, everything is in your hands. If you decide to start listening to third parties against your man, it’s going to be a problem. We need to do better. We need to work on that. Avoid third parties in our relationships.
10. Trying To Change Him
Before you started dating, you caught head for a bit, or before you got married, you were friends for a bit. I’m going to assume you were friends before you started dating this person, and then you saw certain things you didn’t like, but in your mind, you’re like, I’m going to change him. I’m going to make him stop doing this. You cannot stop a man from doing what he wants to do. You cannot change a person from who they are.
- If he loves to golf and you love football, and you think you’re going to make him stop watching golf and start liking football, you’re going to fail. If he’s a quiet person, you cannot make him vocal overnight. We love sitting at home.
- Don’t think you’re going to change him and make him become a social party animal like yourself, and then start going out every day and hanging out with friends. It doesn’t work that way.
If you’ve known this person for a while, it means you have accepted that this is who they are. You’re going to manage, and don’t try to change your mind. Because you’re going to end up giving yourself high blood pressure, headache, and then you start aging.
11. Complaining Too Much
You’ve been with him for a long time. He has seen you naked, and you have seen him. You maybe had kids. He should love you at your worst, just like he loved you at your best. Don’t do that. Do not let yourself go. You have to learn to take care of yourself. Wear nice clothes, shave your legs, go to the spot. Do some facials. Get a massage. Relax! Take care of yourself, so he sees your beauty.
- One mistake ladies make is that we start complaining about our bodies to our men. We tell them, ‘I’m so fat. My arm is so big. I don’t know why my stomach is like this. I’m breaking out’ and all that. Sometimes men don’t even notice.
He didn’t see it then, and now that you’re complaining about it, he’s looking at her. And he realizes she has a big tummy. It is going to be a problem for you in the long run. Stop complaining too much. Take care of yourself, smell good, and look good. Once in a while, you go out, hang out together, and life is good.
12. Being Available Too Much
You may be in a relationship. Maybe he is in a relationship or have kids, or is not ready. When a guy tells you, ‘I like you.’ listen to that. If he tells you he’s not prepared, respectfully go away. You have to stop trying to shoot your shot and convince him to date.
- Tell him why you’re so good for him and why you guys are good together. If he’s not available at that moment, let it go. Keep your personality and value. Don’t be available too much. Don’t beg about something in a relationship, be natural, and keep it honest. Also, forcing in a relationship is craziness, and this type of relationship is fragile.
13. Talking Too Much
You meet this person, and you’re excited. You like him. You’re talking too much. Men get turned off by women who talk too much. Sometimes you have to observe, listen to what he’s saying. When he’s talking, he is going to end up telling you something from his past or his relationship with his ex that you need to know.
- Women are very talkative, and most of the time, they only talk about their personal life. Most of the men not like talkative women, and they like reticent women. When you talk about something, as usual, make sure how he feels and give him the chance to express his opinion.
14. Texting A Guy How You Feel
Once a day where if you wanted to share your feelings with someone, you had to wait for two or three days until you saw that person in real life. And then muster up the courage to finally say it. Nowadays, we can go from the impulse to a delivered message within 10 seconds, depending on how fast you can text.
- Rather than always texting what you feel, I asked you to grow some of that courage and bring that to real-life interactions because that’s where real intimacy exists.
15. Being Ambitious Woman
I’ve noticed over the years of working with some smart, charismatic, and ambitious women that they bring that ambition to a relationship. Once they meet a guy who might be exciting and interesting but doesn’t fit the type of man that will make her happy. She goes into repair mow rather than saying ‘I’m done’ with this.
She wants to do everything she can to turn him into the right type of guy for her. But that ambition can hurt you when it comes to dating relationships.
- I urge you not to try fixing things to see people for who they are. If you notice that he is not the right guy for you, you got to move on and find the right guy.
16. Looking For The Perfect Partner
Many smart, ambitious people want to take that perfectionism attitude to real life and take it to relationships. I’ve learned something over the years, especially now that I’m getting into a much more serious relationship with someone.
- The real fact is that the more you get to know someone, the more you discover imperfections about them. It’s the imperfection that you discover that makes you fall even deeper in love with that person. We know that no one is perfect, and we are not perfect for others. We just try to be perfect and help a man to develop his perfection.
17. Making Boyfriend So Early
The most common dating is expecting him to be your boyfriend before he is your boyfriend. It’s easy when you start meeting a guy, and things are going well too. Assume that you are suddenly in a relationship with someone, but my advice is to look unless it is explicitly clear that you are in a relationship.
- You have to assume that he’s probably seeing other people as well. Don’t make that assumption. Most of the women are very fast at making a boyfriend. But I think it’s a slow process. Don’t be hurry; otherwise, you will lose your dignity and happiness.
18. Being A Validation Vulture
The typical dating mistake that you can make is being a validation vulture. A validation vulture is someone who is looking for validation for a man to say he’s attracted to her or he likes her or some other form of compliment. They need external validation from other people to feel fulfilled and inherently that neediness that person is seeking. ‘Validation’ is unattractive to men.
- Men are looking to pursue someone who doesn’t need their validation. They’re looking to pursue someone who I call is on the train of glory. If you can imagine, your path is like a train on a track, and you’re either going towards a gloomy horrible creepy forest on some sad track, or you can be on the train of glory.
- Train of glory is moving towards you. Let’s say an epic fun beach town a vacation destination. It’s fast-moving, it’s fun. It’s an incredible place to be. It should be your life regardless of whether another man validates you or not. You should know that you’ve got values.
- You’ve got a great social circle that you are on your path to becoming the person you are meant to be. You are doing the things you’re passionate about, and you don’t need that external validation. You’ve got a red velvet rope in front of the train, and if a man wants to apply to be a part of your life, if he wants to join your train, that is great. But if he’s not interested, it’s like the train is stopping.
It’s not like the train is getting derailed. You are still on that path. You don’t need that validation to stay on your train of glory. That is what I mean by validation vulture, and if you’re always seeking and asking him to like you for you to feel fulfilled, it’s going to be an instant turnoff to any high-quality man. You’re ultimately not going to end up attracting the types of guys that you want to attract.
19. Lack Of Boundaries
The mistake that you can make is falling into the change trap. The change trap is the trap in your brain that makes you think that a man will change his ways. You can do something to change a man. Maybe you’ve thought he was single before, and you know he made a mistake, and he’s going to change. The ultimate pathway to a real healthy relationship is acceptance. We want to be accepted by people for who we are.
- We don’t want people to try to change all of our good and all of our flaws. Your partner is going to be the same way. No one truly wants to be changed, and the truth of the matter is you don’t have the power to change anyone. You don’t have that level of control that he’s just going to change. What you can do, and this is the best thing to do, is to hold boundaries.
- I’ve talked about this in the past about not criticizing a man, not trying to change him. I’ve talked about accepting him that doesn’t mean that you should accept negative behavior. It doesn’t mean that you should allow him to treat you negatively.
It means that you can’t expect that you’re going to be able to change him or that behavior. You can set boundaries. We can set boundaries for the people and say this is what I will or I won’t do. But we can only control ourselves. Our boundaries are not saying, you have to do this, or you have to do that. You can’t make him do anything. So, hold your boundaries.
20. Laying Down Your Commitment Card Too Soon
The top dating mistake that you can make is laying down your commitment card too soon. I don’t just mean sex. What I mean is showing a man that you are committed to him and only him a little bit too soon before he’s proven himself to you.
When I say proven himself, it means that as I said before, there should be a high standard that you have for yourself that you have for allowing the people into your life allowing yourself to get into a relationship.
- There should be a standard. There should be that red velvet rope that a man has to pass through. And to do that, he has to reciprocate. There has to be some form of partnership. And you lay down that card too soon where he hasn’t genuinely proven to you that he’s fully committed or that he’s fully interested.
If he hasn’t done that and you’re already laying down the commitment card, you’re pretty much ending the possibility of the relationship progressing. Because by doing that, you’re essentially letting him know that your standards are low and that he can treat you in a certain way.
And you’re still going to commit to him, and you’ve trained him that he doesn’t have to treat you in the way that you deserve to be treated. We train people how to treat us through our boundaries. If you lay down that commitment card too soon, it’s just setting yourself up for failure.
21. Lifelong Committed
If you find that you stay in a relationship with someone that’s not genuinely reciprocating, they’re not compromising. Maybe their schedule doesn’t fully match with yours. And you find that you’re always accommodating their schedule. You’re still traveling to them, or they’re always coming to your house and using your stuff, eating your food, and they’re just never repaying.
- It’s essential to make sure that their actions are reciprocal that they’re just not the constant sponge that they are pulling their weight. Because a relationship is a partnership, it takes two.
- So if you give and give, you are a sponge supporter. It is a crazy relationship mistake because nobody wants to be in a committed lifelong relationship with a sponge. It never works, and someone is always unhappy. Also, it is a widespread dating mistake women make all time.
22. Listening To Your Emotional Lies
Another dating mistake you can make is listening to your emotional lies. Now in any relationship, when we’re in it, we feel such strong emotions. Sometimes it can even feel like a roller-coaster. But unfortunately, when we feel strong emotions, we can attach meaning to certain things that happen.
So we can almost morph the meaning of things, and that’s not always helpful because when we attach importance, we can sometimes sway the reality of the situation.
- It’s essential not still to listen to your emotional lies but to look at things objectively. And one of the best ways to look at your relationship more objectively is to ask yourself, what if he treated the woman I value most in this world.
This way, what if he did this to the woman that I truly value? What would I tell her to do? What would I expect her to do. I want that for her when we begin to step outside of the relationship and replace ourselves with the woman that we value and care about most in the world.
- It changes our perspective, and why shouldn’t we treat or act in the same way that we would want the person. We value most in the world to be treated or to work. So when we do that, it puts everything in perspective and helps us get outside of our emotional lives.
23. Calling Him First
One of the most common things that I think the female species just love doing is finding excuses to call or contact or write to a man first. Women can be analyzing, obsessing, and coming up with reasons why a man does not respond or make contact with them first.
I know a common one, and I’m sure some of you are guilty of this one. You’re in the initial stages of dating, and you’ve been on a date with a man for the first time. And then, after the date, you message him first to thank him for the date. Wrong, That is not how it’s supposed to be done.
- A man is a hunter. A man takes the initiative until your relationship has reached a point where you are serious and exclusive with each other.
- But in the initial stages, they are so crucial. You cannot afford to be showing too much interest. I’m sorry to say, but the man is the hunter. Regardless of gender roles today, he will value you more.
He will be more interested in you. I know that it’s a cliche, ladies, but it works, and it has always worked. There is a psychological reason why this cliche works, so please take it seriously and stop messaging or calling him first.
24. Being So Needy & Selfish
You go on a date with him, and this is doesn’t matter. If you’re in the initial stages of dating or even married to the man, a woman is pulling out her wallet to offer to pay or pretend she’s offering to pay. It doesn’t matter if you want to pay or you don’t want to pay. You are never to pull out your wallet in front of a man ever.
And I’m serious. Men earn more on average in our society. They are protectors by nature. Men are the ones that should be looking after a woman. But I know gender roles are changing to something that I don’t want to be associated with.
- It’s not for good, and it’s not suitable for the woman. But if you are there on each date offering to pay or pretend that you’re inclined to pay, then ultimately, what happens is that we are spoiling men this way. We are showing that it’s okay for the woman to pay when it’s not.
And luckily, there are some cultures where this is taboo, like middle Eastern cultures, even in Russian cultures and some other cultures around the world. But there are some cultures, and unfortunately, I’m from one of those cultures where it’s expected that the woman offers to pay or pay half the bill.
Shout out Sweden and Germany, and the whole of Scandinavia, by the way, and a few other places too. Let’s discuss in the comments section below which countries women are expected to pay. Regardless of which culture you belong to, ladies, stop offering.
If he gets put off by you, if he starts imagining that you are some form of gold digger, then you know what? This is not a generous man. This is not a gentleman. I don’t think this is the high-quality man that you want to be investing in. Because this man will always be 50/50 with you, that is a very depressing direction to take in life. So make sure you get out now.
25. Immature Body Language
There is this kind of aura about some women, while a lot of women. We can just know that she’s single and she’s looking. She’s not necessarily throwing herself in front of all men, although we do have a few like. And that is a big no, no again, ladies.
But I’m talking about, let’s say, you’re sitting in a restaurant, a woman who is hunting. You see it on her because she will be looking around a lot. She will be sitting there with the sign on her face saying, I’m waiting for somebody to start talking to me. I want to meet somebody here, and men smell this.
- Men read body language. They’re not stupid at the end of the day. So develop a strong personality and express it by your body language. It increases your value.
26. Going Over The Top
A woman should be glamorous and beautiful as she pleases. But unfortunately, there is a psychological obstacle because an overly glamorous woman makes many men think that she’s too high maintenance. They have this stereotype of this category of women, not in the woman’s favor. So it’s essential to think about this one and play along a little bit. Tone it down.
Some women say that men like they can not maintain a woman of that standard. So they are anyway, not good. Well, I’m sure there are a few men like that as well, but actually, there’s a lot of good men out there, and I’ve heard them honestly say this.
- It sometimes comes across as the wrong marketing when a woman is looking overly glamorous, like the red carpet is her everyday carpet, and the man is a little bit confused.
Because men also want to find kind of their best friend or a companion, a life partner, somebody who is not necessarily, glammed up 24/7. They also want to have the girl next door as the woman they marry. So for that reason, of course, you should dress up.
- Of course, you should look best and be attractive to a man. But make sure you don’t go over the top. And if you feel that you might be a very glamorous woman and you’re still single, it can be worth it for you to try out and tone a few of your outfits or appearance down and see if you will have any improvements.
27. Emotionally Detach With Single Man
Men have always dated multiple women at the same time. Today’s fast-paced climate, especially the fast-paced dating climate with the muscular availability of women and men because of online dating. You have to step up a notch because it’s not getting easier to meet your mate, even though it should be more comfortable with all the dating apps available.
- That’s one reason why you need more than one man that you’re dating at the same time because you simply need to maximize your options. You also need to have a few men just so that you emotionally detach, and I mean, if we go back to the first point that I mentioned, not being too interested, too available, also over the guy.
Then this is going to help you because when we are only dating one person at a time. We are obsessing about that person. And women tend to become a little bit more emotionally attached to the men. And maybe, their focus too strong on one person because that’s kind of our instinct.
We do it with our children, so I think it’s also quite normal to do it in other relationships, more than maybe the man does. So date multiple men at the same time. This does not make you a loose woman of any sort. Don’t let society control you, ladies. We just do what men have been doing for centuries.
28. Being A Cheap Woman
Ladies, do not have any pictures where you are lightly dressed. I know that it’s perfect for grabbing men’s attention because, yes, they will most likely swipe right on you. Is it right, they swipe when they want you? I think so. Okay. Yes. Men will message you more when you are showing off your body.
- If it’s a nice body, but it’s just not worth the first impression that you leave. You will attract more men who are only in for the meat. You might also actually put off some men who are looking for somebody serious. Again, many men looking for serious want to have a little bit of girl next door flavor because that’s what makes them connect.
I have this male friend, and I remember he showed me this profile of a woman he was interested in. And he was talking to her for quite some time. But he was put off by the pictures that she had put, and he was insecure if she was a high-quality woman.
I mean, don’t forget men are so simple-minded when it comes to evaluating women. They do think in stereotypes, so you have to be cautious about these things. So no poor pictures of you on your online dating profiles.
29. Your Simple Personality
I think the majority of women do to hold their personality back. They become a little bit more reserved, which, of course, can work for some men. I know many ladies do the mystery kind of strategy, which is also very useful, especially on certain types of men. But on the general masses of men, you win more if you just show your personality and yourself. I know that it sounds like a cliche.
- Just be yourself. But yes, ladies, you have to let your personality shine. You don’t want to show certain parts of your personality that maybe no man should ever see. But we have a personality that is a pleasant, fun, relaxed, happy personality with a little bit of our flavor to it that is important that you show.
Because first of all, that’s how a person connects to you. And you want the man to feel he has a connection with you as early as possible on the date. But your personality is also entertainment. If a man is bored with you, he will not want to see you again.
So you have to think about relaxing and just letting yourself go into who you are. And if the man doesn’t like your personality, then he was only not for you.
30. Fast Trust Is A Big Dating Mistake
I don’t mean trust that you’re going to get married, trust that you’re going to live together, that this is the relationship for whatever. But faith with your biology that you’re not going to get the sick trust that you’re not going to get pregnant, trust that the guy at least has an emotional connection with you enough, that he’s going to call back the next day. It’s a basic level of trust, and I think that women kind of fantasize about who a guy is and find out the hard way.
- We have a lot to lose, and by the way, I don’t put any rules on when you should sleep with somebody. The answer is when trust happens now, and trust happens after one dinner. I probably think not, but it takes whatever time for people’s personalities to unfold and for whatever kind of connection you make for somebody to be trustful.
- Did you know that when women have an orgasm, their body releases oxytocin, which is the female bonding hormone? The only other time we release oxytocin is during nursing when we’re bonding with our baby.
So we’re wondering why we have separation anxiety and why heat when he doesn’t call back after sex. we feel hurt and wondering why he doesn’t feel that way. But guess what?
Girlfriend, he can’t feel that way. He doesn’t have oxytocin in his body. He dumps and doesn’t think about it the same way we do. So we must have emotionally safe sex with men who have some degree of empathy who can understand that maybe we will have these feelings.
Stop trying to be so funny and get the information you came for. A date is supposed to gather information. It’s supposed to be about learning whether or not a person is right for you whether or not a person is qualified for the application of being your man.
It is assuming that just because he’s smart and charming that he’s the right person. But intelligent people can be the most dangerous people in relationships. It’s so important to keep logic in the equation rather than always leading with your motion.
When it doesn’t work out or is not presented with a person’s heart, don’t be confused. Just understand that you started as a source of entertainment. You will end as a source of entertainment. Most likely, it makes no sense to be inebriated or to be high on your date.
What do you want to come to your relationships? You have to support one another, eventually. You have to form some level of interdependence but the willingness to help each other. And the desire to be there for each other.
You need to start protecting yourself, and you need to start focusing on what your goal is. Stop worrying so much about being liked. And start worrying about whether or not you should like them. So you keep going forward, hoping that you haven’t wasted your time wasting your energy and giving yourself to a man who doesn’t respect you ultimately.
I need you to start focusing more on the goal, which is a healthy love, and requiring that you have a healthy experience with the guy from the very beginning. So share your opinion and problem in the comment section and share this article with your friends.
Read More: Dating Advice For Women