40 Ways To Build A Strong Relationship – Healthy Love: Not only humans but all kinds of animals also want love. It’s love which can make various feelings and memory. The attraction hormone forces us to make a relation or life partner.
So, the relationship is one of the best parts of our life. Sometimes we feel sad about choosing the wrong way. I want to share with you some relationship advice. A relationship can be the most terrible frustrating anger-provoking experience. Or a relationship can be the most beautiful joyful experience.
40 Ways To Build A Strong & Healthy Relationship
I would invite you to agree always to be who you are not and who you think. Your partner wants you. Before starting a new relationship or making a relationship healthy you must follow some rules.
Today, I’ll describe the proper way of love and tell you the best relationship advice. Let’s start!
1. Talk To Each Other
Talk about what’s going on in your life. Talk about how you’re feeling if your spouse or partner in your relationship does something that is upsetting you. Let them know if they do something that you love that they did. Let them know every aspect of communicating through the things that you’re feeling.
It is so vital. Because, even though you’re feeling something inside, your partner probably doesn’t know unless you vocalize it. You have to realize that even if you and your partner are so similar, you still are very different. You think differently, even as like men and women. Our brains are very different sometimes. We have to explain ourselves.
We can’t just think that they’re going to understand just naturally if you don’t speak up. This is where I think a lot of couples fail. Because maybe they’re just too scared to share those things. Because it is hard if something you know is going on in your heart that you’re wrestling with if something’s bothering you.
Maybe that they’re doing it can be a little scary to bring it up. But I promise you it is so much healthier if you do and talk it out respectfully on a friendly tone level, especially women.
For Example, We can tend to bottle up our feelings, instead of sharing them, talking it out like an average person. We can get to the point. It’s like- we just let it build up and throw it up. And then one day, we’re just going to explode. Because we haven’t been talking about it and then it gets to the point where it’s like- “Why don’t you understand it?” They don’t understand, because you never said anything about it.
I mean, they’re probably going to repeat doing this. The thing that is upsetting to you, because you never corrected me, never said, “Hey sweetie!” like this, which bothers me. When you do it, would you mind doing this? Just bring it to their attention but in a healthy way, instead of at your breaking point.
Praise on each other if your husband came home with groceries one day like my husband sometimes does. I’m unexpected. I let him know, “Honey, I appreciate that so much.”
It means a lot to me that you did that, so communication about everything, about all the positive things because that’s reassuring. You need that in a relationship. You need to know, “Oh! I’m doing something right. My spouse, my partner appreciates me.
When times are difficult to talk about, those also to talk about personally that you’re dealing with might not be a struggle in your relationship. But it may be just a struggle in your own heart. Hey sweetie! Like I’m dealing with this eternally, only to have that support can you offer each other. It’s just essential.
2. Keep Things Exciting
It’s so important to go along with our mundane life and get into our routines, our schedules, especially the longer you’ve been married. You see couples who are less affectionate towards each other.
For Example, I may don’t know almost the routine, “Hey sweetie! Welcome home.” I don’t know if they call each other sweetie. Maybe they didn’t even ignore each other when they come home from work.
Keep things exciting, whether to celebrate something. It doesn’t have to be a birthday or a holiday. It could be the smallest little thing. But, celebrate it, make it a big deal. Go on trips, schedule little fun, vacations even if it’s just a day trip. Do something.
It’s just fun and exciting that will create a memory. Surprise each other. Harrell and I love to surprise each other, and we think it’s fun. Sometimes, it’s totally like silly small things. But, all of those things keep it exciting and keep it fun.
3. Make A Good Friendship
You guys are partners. Everything that you do should never be me versus you situation, and should always be about what is best for us as a team together.
So, make sure that you’re making your decisions together even if it’s a decision, maybe that only pertains to me. I still will talk to my husband about it, and always include him on my thought process, want to get his input about it.
Make sure that we’re just making all of our decisions together. Make sure that you’re supporting one another. It may not be your dream specifically. Make sure you’re helping them, encouraging them.
You realize that as they’re fulfilling their vision, it’s like for you as well. Because you guys are a team, it’s a good thing to remind each other that you’re on the same team. Sometimes, stuff will happen, and maybe you’ll start arguing about something.
For Example, Take a step back and literally like remind each other. Be like “Hey”, like, “We’re on the same team here”. Let’s chill out, no need to get upset with each other. Let’s remember this together, whatever it is. It’s whatever we’re going through. We’re going to do it together. We have to make decisions that positively affect us both. I realize what is best for both of us.
In life, there’s always going to be so many obstacles. So many people who are telling you, you’re doing it wrong that you’re not good enough like who knows what so. It is so important to have that one person.
4. Stay Close To God
It is so important, and I’m sincere. Anytime that my husband and I have gotten really in any fight, we hardly ever fight, or I hate even saying fight argue. I have realized, we both learn. After we step back, we always are like, “Why are we even in this crazy argument”?
When we sit back, we look at it, and it’s always because we aren’t as close to God at that moment. We haven’t been intentional with our time with him. So, we’ve just been growing farther from God. When you do that, it changes the way you treat people that change your heart.
So, it’s so important to stay close to God. When you’re close to God, you’re going live like Jesus. You’re going to love like Jesus. You’re going treat your spouse so much better. It’s super important to realize that as much as you love your spouse, you think they’re lovely.
They’re not perfect, and they can’t be everything for you. Only God can do if we are not focusing on God and making him the centre of our relationship.
For Example, We can get things out of balance. Then we start to put our spouse on a pedestal or maybe not on a pedestal. We expect so much out of them, and when that happens, they’re just going to fail us.
They’re not perfect. We need to be seeking God more than we seek our spouse, which is very hard to do and something that I need to work on every single day. I need to work on it currently because it is hard.
It’s hard to be intentional. I have so much more in Grace in my heart when my husband fails me something that would upset me. When I stayed close to God, I’m getting all that I need from God. The times when I’m not close to God, I’m expecting everything out of my husband. If he lets me down, you fall apart. Because, I haven’t been leaning on God who is- the only thing God never goes letting me down.
5. Learn Love Languages
Be mindful of each other’s love languages and to cherish one another in knowing each other’s love languages. By this, you’ve never figured out what your love language is. But, all of us express our love differently, and we feel love differently.
You might feel loved by physical touch or something. So, you like when someone hugs you, holds your hand. You can feel their love that way right.
So, you might naturally think that- someone else you’re sharing your love by doing that to them, but for them, they might not feel loved that way. They might feel loved through acts of service.
So, they need you to be serving them in specific ways to feel their love. So, it’s essential to know those things so that you know the best way to be sharing the love.
For Example, Your sauce knows the best way to be giving love to you so that you do feel loved. I hope that made sense. I do encourage you if you haven’t ever learned what your love language is, then take a survey. I’m sure you can find one online or something going along with that.
It is just essential to make sure that you make each other feel cherished. It could be little gestures when you know lock eyes with each other, and then you exchange a small smile.
6. Let Things Go
You can let things go now from time to time. You are both going to be annoying each other. It’s just one of those things. It might be that your partner has let you down in some way, something so simple as he’s forgotten to fetch the milk, after the fifth time of you reminding him.
What is important here is- Can you let things go? Are you able to go? Yeah, that situation sucked. But it’s not a big deal. Let’s draw the line and get over it.
For Example, A healthy relationship would be- people communicating that they do feel a little bit underwhelmed and disappointed because their partner let them down. But then, they choose to let it go, and they don’t bring it up time after time after time.
7. Be Intimate Properly
We know that having sex with your partner is a big thing. However, there’s a difference between having sex with someone and then being intimate with someone.
For Example, There are entirely different paths you can go down. If you’re close with your partner in and outside the bedroom, then this means you have a healthy relationship.
Always remember, strong relationships are built together through bonding sensations of trust, honesty, and friendship. You have anything on the exterior level, which is lust, and physical attractiveness is just the start of a relationship. That does not mean that you are in a healthy relationship.
8. Ensure The Security
Your relationship is a safe place. Your connection should be this little bubble between you and your partner that- no matter what you go through in the day.
For Example, You can always return home and feel secure and receive loving warmth now. This isn’t to say that- sometimes things won’t go wrong and you won’t have arguments inside your couple bubble.
However, what I’m trying to get at here is- it’s more important that you go to your partner when times are rough than anybody else. Because let’s face it if you had a stressful situation.
You never went to your partner to talk about it or to open up and connect in some way. Then, that is not a healthy relationship. Now, this tip ties in very near to the one, I previously just said.
9. Have Your Own Space
We grow up, and we go in more serious relationships. We understand that we don’t have to spend all of our time together like we did when we were dating our teen boyfriends or teen girlfriends.
So, the most important thing about a healthy relationship is that- you can come together, you can disappear, both go your ways and do your items explore your life. Develop new habits and hobbies.
Then, you can come together and talk about it. If you spend a lot of your time together doing the same things and the same crowd of people, the same activities, same habits and hobbies, you are eventually going to dislike the other person. Because you have no space to yourself and you can’t be a healthy adult unless you have your own space.
10. Be Self Dependable
I have been in relationships before. But I have not fought at all with my partner, and these relationships didn’t last now. It is a healthy thing and not a bad thing. Because, if you don’t fight with your partner, not physical fights, literally you can argue about something if you are not happy. If you aren’t able to voice your opinion and fight with your partner, that means you can’t open up.
For Example, Something’s holding you back, and you could be scared of confrontation and upsetting the other person. You’re happy to suppress your own opinion. You want to let the other person win one over on you. Even, they are in the wrong. You want to make sure that you keep the peace. It is a sign that you have some form of emotional attachment you need to address.
So, in a healthy relationship, having quarrels and disagreements from time to time is a healthy thing. Because it shows that you’ve both have your understanding, you both have your own opinions and minds. That makes you stronger.
Because, the other person can think, “Was she’s a high-value lady”? Because if I do something that she doesn’t like, she will tell me and vice versa. But the most important thing here is that if you are in a fight in your argument, you apologize when you are wrong. It is the next level of having a healthy relationship.
11. Be Like Yourself & Partner
You like yourself and your partner exactly how you both are right now if you can both recognize your qualities right now. You are not hoping for someone to change or waiting for someone to do a sure thing or to achieve something for the relationship, to get better, then that is healthy. Let me give an example.
For Example, A lot of people feel that- if they have a house that own property, their mortgage or they have another car or have a baby, then their relationship dynamic will change and it will be just a lot more secure. But, if you aren’t happy with your relationship right now and you are waiting for something else to improve it, then it’s not healthy, and it means you are not satisfied with the relationship exactly how it is right now.
12. Make Decisions Jointly
Making decisions together is one of the vital components of a healthy relationship. I’m not saying you choose to watch a particular movie every Saturday. Your partner says, “Right, Friday, when I watch what I want to watch”. You need to have joint decisions from choosing how many kids you want to open a mutual bank.
What flavoured sauce you want on your pancakes on Sunday mornings. As long as you both can have a 50/50 opinion, you both listen to eat to the side. Of the story, that is very healthy and very functional.
13. Find Joy
You find joy if you are in a relationship where you were pretty much sad or feel lonely when you are with them than when you’re on your own. That is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
You must be able to laugh with your partner, find jokes, finish each other’s sentences. You must have those quirky, ridiculous, daft sayings and little noises that you make inside relationships.
For Example, You know precisely what I’m on about those type of voices that you put on in the relationship. No one else in the world can see or hear your kind of conversation, communication techniques that you used. Now, if you don’t have these, then it’s a sign the relationship is pretty much Deadwood now.
I’m not saying that you should always be sunshine and rainbows and happy all the time in your relationship. What I’m saying is you feel comfortable with each other. But you can be a little bit childlike from time to time and explore that innocence of just being a young person again.
14. Find Balance
You won’t be able to share things fifty-fifty. For example, your partner might be working lots of long hours, and that means that you have to pick up the dry-cleaning.
You’re picking him up from work, and you’re doing most of the cooking and cleaning at home because he can’t do it. Now as long as this is swapped around when you are busy. For example, you have to take care of someone in your family that’s taken a turn for the worse.
Maybe they’re in the hospital perhaps something’s happened, and you’re expected to go there then that means your partner deals with more things at home than you usually would.
Now this is finding balance and as long as you guys can fifty-fifty split everything and that you can pick up extra work in the house where needed that is a good healthy relationship.
15. Treat Each Other With Kindness
You should be in a relationship where there’s honesty. You care for each other and love each other unconditionally. You want there to sin to them even if you don’t always agree with the things that they say no.
Sometimes you find that you don’t say nice things about your partner when they’re not around. You need to take a step back and analyze the relationship which you want.
The underlining message here is how much respect are you showing your partner. If you’re always bad-mouthing when you’re not around them, then that’s not good, and that’s not a sign of a healthy relationship. You should be able always to say great things about your partner talk about how amazing they are.
16. Try To Understand Each Other
Communication is the key. I think a lot of people are like, “Okay, yeah! You need to communicate”. Maybe, they believe communicating means talking, but it’s not that simple.
When I think of communication, I think of trying to understand the other person as much as possible. It is allowing them to understand you and meeting each other half away, being as open as possible.
It means what you’re thinking and what’s on your mind and how you’re feeling. It is about putting everything out there on the table. Not playing mind games, not holding things back, not trying to trick the other person or test the other person and just being open and honest.
For Example, I think that a lot of the times, especially if you are in kind of a typical heterosexual relationship, I guess men and women tend to see things differently. They think very differently. That is true in my relationship and a lot of my friends’ relationships.
So you might feel a certain way. You might be upset because of something that the other person said or something that they did. It might make total sense to you why you’re upset. You feel like you have every reason to feel the way that you’re feeling.
You feel that they should know. You understand not only that you are upset but also why you’re upset. You might not realize that they might not have any idea. Because to them, it wasn’t a big deal and they just don’t get it.
They don’t understand. So, it’s your job as one half of this relationship to communicate your feelings and your thoughts. This is bothering me, and here’s why. It goes both ways.
If you see that your partner is upset, they’re mad at you for something, or you know whatever the case, you don’t understand why you’re not getting it. You do not understand their perspective. You need to open up to them. You have to find out why.
I know that, and I’ve been guilty of this in the past to a lot of the times. When you see what’s wrong, something is bothering you, but you wish that they would already know. People are not mind-readers. Both the person in the relationship needs to be responsible.
You need to not only stop playing games but also be truthful and open. At the same time, both of you need to try to meet each other halfway. Try to understand each other. You should explain how you feel.
17. Be Strong Mentally
I think another good tip is to take a step back for a second in a situation where there are more emotions involved. You are pissed off and upset. It’s easy to let go off of those emotions and go on attack mode and start this big argument.
What I do when I’m in a situation like that? I take a step back. I have to think to myself, ‘Wait for a second! What is it that’s bothering me?’ Because sometimes, you get so caught up in the emotion that you don’t even really realize or remember what it was that set you off.
Try to think about what is bothering you. Why are you feeling this way? Why are you pissed off? Why are you emotional? What do you want? What would make the situation better? What would make me feel better? Once you know what and how to explain yourself to your partner, it’ll make the whole situation better.
Because if they already have no idea that there even is a problem or they don’t know why you’re upset about something, there will be no solution. You’re just coming out with all this emotion, and you can’t communicate to them. The problem is not going to get resolved that way. Yelling and being emotional might escalate the situation to worsen. So, communication is key to kind of go along with that.
18. Be Patience
Never go to sleep being mad at each other. I know everybody says that. What I mean by that is, as soon as something’s bothering you, address it immediately. Don’t let things build-up.
In the first year or so of my relationship, oh my god! I feel like every argument that we ever got into was a result of me being upset about something, or you know whatever my feelings are getting hurt about something.
I was pushing it off whatever it was a big deal or not. Then something else would happen. All these little small things would happen, and eventually, they would build up into significant issues. Because after the first thing, I’d be like, ‘Alright! I’m a little pissed off about that, but whatever!
It’s not a big deal. I’m not going to bring it up. I don’t want to start a fight over something stupid like that.’ The second thing happens, but I’m still thinking about the first thing because that never really got resolved.
Now two things have happened that I’m not happy with it. You know the feeling of some way, about then the third thing happens. If you never talk about a problem, it never gets resolved.
It still might be bothering you a little bit deep down. Maybe you don’t even realize it. You maybe think that you forgot about it. Then all of a sudden something small and stupid sets you off. All of the little things that have been building up over the past few weeks or months, they get too much out of hand. You explode.
Your partner has no idea that all these things have been building up inside of you. Because you kept pushing it off and you never told them. Now you’re pissed off and emotional. They think it’s just because they forgot to put the toilet seat down. But in reality, it’s about so many other things that happened in the past.
19. Keep Self Confidence
My next tip is about choosing your battles. It is something that I stress to people a lot too. I have a few friends. One friend in particular who always will text me, asking my opinion on a specific fight. She will let me know what’s going on between her and her boyfriend.
For Example, A lot of the times it’s so stupid that I don’t even understand why it’s even a fight. You’re not always going to one hundred per cent agree with the person. They’re going to do things that annoy you. They’re going to have habits that drive you crazy.
That doesn’t mean that you need to pick apart every little thing they do and fight them over every little thing. Also, I mean the more you’re fighting, the more you’re going to get exhausted. It is going to put a strain on your relationship. Save all of the fightings for the big problems, the real things that are worth an argument. I should give one specific example.
My friend was fighting with her boyfriend because he was going to be coming with her to a work party refusing to shave his beard, and she said that he just looked homeless.
Express your opinion if that’s how you feel, even if he doesn’t want to know. The important thing is that he’s coming with you to this event. I mean, isn’t that the vital part of the fact that he is there to support you?
Is his facial hair that big of a deal? Is it worth fighting? What if this fight escalates so much that then he decides like forget it! Am I not even going to come? Would you instead want him to be there supporting you with the beard or you be alone and him not be there at all? It is essential to choose your battles.
20. Respect Each Other
I mean, this is what you learn in preschool. It is to have respect and to treat others the way you want to be treated. So, have respect for your partner. I know this sounds so obvious, and it’s so ridiculous to say.
But I feel like the people who cheat on their partners and who do shady, messed up things and betray their partners, they didn’t respect them. Because if you respected them, you wouldn’t have done those things to them at all. If you don’t respect your partner, your partner is not respectful, and then you should not be together. It is a fundamental and necessary thing.
21. To Have Standards
I have many friends. I’ve seen like some of my mom’s friends to where they have low standards when it comes to the people that they’re in relationships. Because they feel that they don’t deserve much, they would rather be with someone at all than to be alone.
You should have pretty high standards for yourself when it comes to a relationship. You should be with someone who respects you, who loves you, who treats you the way that you deserve to be treated. Someone that you can have fun.
Someone that you love to be around. However, I think that sometimes some people especially, in the age of social media, get very caught up in the fantasy. So, they overlook the good things that they have.
For Example, There are all of these pictures of these perfect beautiful, model looking couples on Instagram. I feel like there are so many people that I know either just because I follow them where I know them in real life.
They make their relationships out to be like this perfect, fantastic thing. I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I’m like, wow! Their relationship seems perfect! It seems they never even fight. Maybe, my relationship isn’t as good as I thought it was. But you have to realize that what you see online is just an edited version of a relationship.
It’s a fantasy. It’s not real. You can do some self-sabotaging severe if you continue to think that way. Look at the good things that you have and appreciate the positive good things that you do have! Stop having these unrealistic expectations for your relationship and your partner.
22. Grow Up Your Time Scene
Time is essential for a relationship. What I mean is someone can say, ‘Hey! We’ve known each other for a short amount of time. We want to get married.’
I remember having a couple come to me and saying we want to get married on the first anniversary of our first date and I said, please know why. For many reasons but one of those reasons is there are some things that only time can reveal.
I mean, this is the reality of the time. There are some things only time can reveal. You can say, ‘No, we talk a lot. We have good communication. We share everything.’ That’s neat! But there are some things only time can reveal. The kind of things you talked about in month number 6 is different than the stuff you talked about in month number 16. Deals will be other after a couple of years.
For Example, In my experience, the depth is achieved with the gift of time. In a sense, slow down again if you’re the dragging feet person. You’re like, ‘We’ve been dating for seven years.
I’m thinking about marrying this person.’ Well, then it can be the call. I think they say fish or cut bait, but that’s not what I’m talking. If you’re the kind of person who’s rushing time, there are some things only time can reveal.
23. Make Your Relationship Old
I work on the university campus. Some students arrive every year. They’ll say things like, hey what year are you in, and they’ll say, well technically I’m a junior. Because I took all these, you know, high school, college classes, but I mean, it’s my first year. The response is, ‘Oh! You’re a freshman, got it!’ They’re like, ‘No, I’m a junior like you. Just got here, first-year student/freshman.
It’s the desire to have a relationship that’s more mature or in a different place than your relationship is. It’s the relationship that says. As I said at the beginning of this article, you know, we’ve only been dating two months, but we knew we were going to get married after the third date.
Now keep in mind, I know everyone in the brothers going to say, ‘Well, my grandparents, they knew right away, or my whoever knew right away.’ That is fine! Whatever maybe I’m wrong.
I’ll get sassy in a second here. But there are some things again that not just time will reveal. But there’s something about allowing a two-month-old relationship to be two months old.
Right there’s that something. That’s something good about letting this fourth date be the fourth date. What I mean by that is there are some couples that I’ve spoken with who are like ever since the third date. or the third week or whatever it is. We knew we were going to get married that after a year or two. All of a sudden, these issues start arising in their relationship.
They realize they have to deal with it because they didn’t deal with it earlier. They won’t address specific issues just because they are getting married anyway. It doesn’t matter if it’s an issue. Again, this is like scolding anyone. It is my encouragement.
For Example, If you’re in a six-month-old relationship, let your relationship be six months old. If you’re ending for two years, let it be two years old. Treat your relationship according to the actual age of the relationship, not where you’d like it to be in the future.
24. Do Work Together
I would say one of the most excellent skills is that couples can work on with each other is learning how to solve problems or learning how to make decisions with each other.
Because you probably know how to make a decision right. You know that you have the style. You probably figured out that maybe you’re a quick deciding person. You look at the patient like, ‘Oh! I’m going to do this.’
Maybe the statistics on you making the right decision is eighty per cent. Eighty per cent of the time you’re happy with the decision and twenty per cent of the time, you regret. But you’re okay with that. You are satisfied with the ratio. The person you’re dating or married to might be the opposite. They might be slow to make decisions. Sometimes they maybe don’t even make decisions.
For Example, Sometimes they may be the kind of person who says 75 per cent. If it can avoid making a decision, resolving itself, you might know someone like this. Maybe you’re someone like this.
They don’t make a decision. Usually, it just resolves itself, and things work out. Maybe 25% of the time, it doesn’t work out. Everyone has to scramble to pick up the pieces, but I’m okay with that ratio. If 75% of the time, it’s okay.
In 25%, scramble. Take an 80%, you know snap judgment, and at 75%, I’ll just let it resolve itself. They’ll let them figure out how to fix a question or make a decision with each other. It’s not impossible. They’re going to need to learn how to do that thing.
25. Take Decisions Properly
If you’re in a relationship, learn how to make decisions together. Learn how to solve problems together, learn how to address issues with each other. If you’re not in a relationship right now, you were in a relationship with somebody, maybe have a roommate.
We have a friend or family members that you get to make decisions and have to make decisions with them. That’s not a bad thing because what you’re doing is you’re developing a skill.
I’m not the only one involved in making this decision. What I need to do is learn how to do that with someone else. Do all of these while being honest, while being you, being a loving and charitable person.
26. Trust Each Other
If you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything, and that’s a very cliche term. It’s genuine, but the question is, how do you build your trust? Building your trust is just something that happens over time. It doesn’t just take a few days or when you first meet a person.
It can take many months, even years to trust someone because they’re a stranger. So how do you make a stranger? Somebody you trust you begin with communicating.
Communication is everything like I can not stress it enough. It’s just so important to talk to the other person. be open and be willing to share things about your life, your struggles, dreams, desires, fears, past experiences and many things. You should be ready to be open.
You should also be willing to listen to your other partner. Don’t just make it all about yourself, either a relationship be back and forth equal. There should be a balance between both of you. You also be willing to try out new aspects and new things into not only test a relationship but to test the partner and test the trust that you guys have and that’s just important.
It’s so easy to communicate through text messages. it’s fantastic to get adorable text messages and long paragraphs, but there’s nothing better than talking face-to-face kind of telling little bits
and pieces of your life.
27. Don’t Let A Person Define You
Never rely on another person for your happiness. It’s super important to build memories and build a bond with your significant other. And spending time with each other is fine but there are also limits to that, and I know that could be hard.
Especially when you’re in your honeymoon phase, which from my perspective is like the first six months to a year, you feel like you need to have every waking second with that person which is fine. Let me tell you things get old, really quick, and routines get old quick.
For Example, People get bored and tired, and you kind of start to drift away slowly. So arguing more about dumb little things and the little arguments turn to more significant disasters.
It’s just a mess. So it’s crucial sometimes to take a step back and only spend a few even if it’s like two days or something away from each other. I know for some people that can be hard. It’s really important to have time to yourself and with other people who were there before your relationship, such as family friends people.
It allows the person to miss you and to miss someone is right and setting a date for when you’re going to see each other is also really good. If you continuously have the same routine, you never look forward to anything because you expect to see that person. I don’t know about you guys, but I love alone time, and I love being alone not saying that I’m antisocial or anything.
We tend to forget about when we’re in a relationship because we focus all of our attention all of our time on that relationship. so it’s always vital like I said take a step back and do something for yourself treat yourself go out shopping.
You don’t always have to be with someone to kind of feel a hole or feel complete what I mean and your significant other should kind of be like a happy enhancer. So what I mean by that is like you should already be pleased with yourself, and then when you see that person or when you’re with them they should make you even happier.
28. Never Compare Your Relationship
I feel like comparing relationships nowadays is easy to do mostly with social media. I would have to say Twitter and Instagram for sure you see so many pictures of people may be getting gifts or something like bags of victory or secret from their boyfriend or whatever.
You like oh my god like I want that like why does it my boyfriend do that why don’t we like that why don’t we lick that picture that this person posted or something and right there – change your perspective. Look at your relationship and look into ways to improve and continue to build your relationship and not compete or compare yourself to other relationships love and happiness.
Your relationship is the most important thing, and just the best part about the relationship and the gifts are all just like little bonuses. Also, I feel like nowadays girls just put so much pressure on guys into what they have to do because of relationship goals.
It really shouldn’t be like that if you do want your significant other to get you something don’t like kind of put it out there for them to do it. It’s not genuine.
I mean looking at other people is fine getting inspiration for your relationship and wanting those material things it’s okay. Don’t let it make, and it seems like your relationship isn’t good enough or like you always want more material things.
29. Fight For Each Other
You and your significant others should always be putting 110 per cent in your relationship, not 50/50 not 75, 25, 100 per cent, and never force relationships. It’s just not going to work out no matter what you do. It is going to work out no matter what you do.
My boyfriend and I have gone through so many things, and I’m a big believer in prayer, and somehow we just always ended up working things out and only ending up together.
I believe in fate, and I think that no matter what happens no matter how long you guys may be away from each other if you go through a big struggle.
Keep in mind that whenever you’re going through challenges, try to work things out as best as you can. Always make sure that you hear both sides of your argument. Communication is key and everything whether you’re building it or whether you’re already in a relationship.
30. Forgive & Forget
You and your partner will both hurt each other in the relationship. It’s bound to happen because people make mistakes and things occur and most of the time.
Things are never intentional when it comes to hurting one another. it just happens you have to learn to accept things as they are and forgive and forget. It’s effortless to say and very hard to do. Just remember that no matter what items you’ve gone through in your relationship. It will get better because time heals everything and again been there done that.
I’m so grateful for all the things and challenges that my boyfriend and I have been through. I’m so thankful that we were both able to forgive and forget because it just puts your relationship at ease. It brings peace and even more happiness into your relationship. It makes things more robust.
For Example, When you forgive and forget it’s a decision that you’re driving to yourself. So leave it in the past, don’t keep bringing it up, don’t keep bringing that negative energy into your relationship.
It is super important because there’s nothing more unhealthy or worse than having that big grudge of anger, hate and sadness. Just move on, it’s the best thing for not only yourself but for your relationship.
31. Consider Your Lover
You also need to consider what makes your partner happy what are their values, what do they operate under, what is their belief system. The more you know about what makes them tick, the easier it’s going to be to make them happy and the easier.
It’s going to be to avoid the landmines that every relationship has the ones that if you step on the big fights about to happen if you know that your partner has specific triggers.
You need to make sure that you honour this value and that you go out of your way to make sure that you do the little things that matter to them. I think that goes to the point that coach Natalie was talking about earlier. You need to understand what makes your partner tick to prevent conflict down the road.
32. Set Common Goal
The vital element that I would like to address with you today is to make sure that you have joint projects together if you are engaged in a specific activity where you have a common goal.
It will help bind the relationship to host a party together, for instance, where you can plan, coordinate, organize and have fun. It will help the couple grow, and you can plan a vacation or go on a community type of charity work project together where you can feel like you’re making a difference or you’re bringing happiness into other people’s lives.
As a unit, these are the short-term things that you can do to pay the foundation to a long term happy and healthy relationship.
33. Try To Solve Problems
Consider when trying to prevent a breakup or trying to avoid fighting is knowing when to talk about the hard stuff. There are so many times that we lose our patience and we’ve had it up to here.
For some reason, we think that’s the perfect time to have an earnest conversation about things that are making us unhappy when I’m frustrated, and I’m angry. I’m wound up talking about what’s bothering me, and it’s probably not going to come off as superior.
I might be a little bit patient I might be a little less understanding. I may be more concerned with venting than I am with listening to the solution. They may provide to eliminate the problem. So we don’t find resolve when we start yelling things in the middle of what I would encourage to do is to wait for a better time when maybe things are going a little bit better.
34. Accept Difference
I’d also invite you to accept differences very consciously. To accept differences in a relationship, in my opinion, is to take your partner truly. Your partner is their person.
They’re going to have their unique values. When they have an idea about something, it will often be different than yours and a lot of times in relationships a pitfall. We feel inherently threatened by differences.
Oh my gosh, you’re representing something out of my comfort zone. You see this in an unfamiliar way to me than I do so. I feel threatened by that, and then I try and change you, and nobody likes to be changed.
When someone’s trying to change us, we inherently want to fight that, and therefore we get opposed. So I would dare say if we can accept differences rather than seeing differences as a scary lousy thing we become closer in our relationship.
35. Speak The Language Of Feelings
Can you also speak the language of feeling? Feelings are the language of our heart, and of course, the heart is the lifeblood in a relationship whatever the sensations are that you have in your heart. They are aspects of a language that your relationship needs, or else the blood will be progressively drained out.
For Example, We all know that communication in a relationship is critical but let’s take that one step further what are we communicating. If we’re always sharing just our thoughts, our opinions, our judgments and experience then need to find things in the relationship to get angry about will only become so annoyed with each other.
The relationship is just a barren ice age of numbness also add the three-dimensional heartfelt warmth to the relationship sharing feelings. Here are my feelings right now and I have two ears, I’d love to hear what your emotions are right now.
36. Follow 80-20 Rules
I’d invite you to consider the 80-20 rule of interdependence ratioed with codependence. Now, this is a rule that comes from a sagacious man named John McMullen. It says if we can 80% of the time be interdependent, that is I’m meeting my own needs through my stable relationship with myself.
I’m responsible for how I feel what makes me happy in life what makes me unhappy in life. How I feel motivated? How I feel deflated?
For Example, I’m taking responsibility for that 80 per cent of the time. I’m inner dependent that leaves 20 per cent of the time to be codependent with each other meaning 20 per cent of the time I’m going to make you responsible for how I feel the smile I wear. I’m going to blame you for it in the frown I wear.
I’m going to blame you for that too many relationships are absolutely out of proportion where they are at least 80% codependent. It is very unconsciously shaming to be set up in a corner where we can’t possibly win the corner of you need to make me happy. We could probably agree there is only one person on this earth who can make you happy. I would dare say it’s the person sitting inside your body right now.
37. See Relationship As A Perpetual Learning Opportunity
I’ll share it with you is please look at your relationship as perpetual learning about yourself experience where every single day in your relationship you’re looking at your partner and getting curious. What is this lovely person here to teach me today?
Can you look at your partner and see them as a sacred mirror? So if we don’t like what we see in the mirror and we don’t know we’re looking in the mirror.
We’ll say is I want to get this mirror out of my life. I don’t like what I see in who’s looking back in the mirror is always our self. The more intimate a person is in our lives, the more of a clear mirror they are to show us. The aspects of ourself we’re not yet aware of both the light side and the shadow side.
38. Set Some Boundaries
It doesn’t matter if someone else has a different opinion or a different approach or a different view when you’re communicating. Even if someone did something hurtful that was wrong, you’re going to take care of yourself. But you still need to be able to verbally communicate to another person and possibly even set a boundary with another person that hey, When you were 15 minutes late, and you continuously do that, that’s not okay.
We’re always doing that regardless of being in a marriage or a relationship for 30 years. If you’re starting to date someone or just meeting a new friend or having an old family member that maybe you’re trying to get that relationship to a healthy place as best as you can.
Boundaries are absolutely everything, and your limitations are your standards in life. So you need to know what your criteria are in relationships and your boundaries are just your way of communicating.
Hey, This is what I’m going to tolerate. This is what I’m not going to accept and how people treat you or all based on the boundaries that you set now. If we don’t know how to emotionally take care of ourselves and have all these emotional wounds going on inside of us, we’re not going to enforce that and the minute an abuser or someone.
That’s just manipulative, and looking to take advantage of us starts to tiptoe on violating that boundary. We’re going just to let them do it because we come from such lack. We don’t believe that we’re worthy enough to stand up to ourselves because perhaps we’re intimidated by someone. We fear the relationship ending.
39. Be Grateful For Your Partner
We have to be grateful for our partner that they’re not perfect. We’re not perfect, but you should always be with someone who has the same heart as you at the end of the day. It’s so important to work towards a healthy relationship. Are you have to love who your partner is at their core, and you have to show appreciation?
Everyone wants to appreciate it and wants to feel like what they’re doing in the relationship. I still understand what you can give that goes such a long way towards happiness in a relationship.
40. Resolve Conflict Together
You’re not going always to agree. There are times when you’re going to have to compromise either one person or the other. That what we’re arguing about it’s not as important as our relationship and understanding.
We can resolve conflict and get through those tough times together because life’s going to hand you some stuff as a couple that isn’t going always to be the easiest.
I think that as long as two people have the same values. You respect the person, their character as long as you can work on yourself. In my opinion, any relationship can work and get through any difficult situation that you may face. But it just really has to do with all of these things. Are we doing all of these things?
Are we taking responsibility for ourselves? We’re putting everything on the other person and not willing to change or heal ourselves. So I hope that helps you understand kind of what our healthy relationship should look.
Frequently Ask Question
She doesn’t pay you the attention and try to avoid your speech.
She doesn’t want to share her personal life or any problem.
Her body language tells you more if you find it.
She acts like a very busy person and tries to escape from you.
When you are talking with her, you talk eye to eye, but she doesn’t.
How tell if a girl is shy?
It would be best if you gave her some time that she understands you.
It would be best if you whispered and funny that she start laughing and reduce her stress.
Tell her by a story that she feels comfortable.
Respect her and ask her favorite or something else that is interesting.
When you know about her exciting things, then discuss it. She will enjoy the conversation and feel free to talk.
What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?
Self Respect & Give Respect.
Take care and a good listener.
Trust and discipline.
Priority and forgiveness.
Freedom and choice.
What does a man want in a relationship?
A man wants inspiration and motivation from her life partner or lover. Every man wants respect, priority, freedom, caring, and support.
What does a woman want in a relationship?
Firstly, a woman wants a lot of priority and caring from her boyfriend or husband. Then, she wants to support, well behavior, and favorite items.
So, you should give her favorite things and try to provide a surprise because girls like to surprise and gift. Try to be a good listener and give her some sweet advice. Give her proper time and make some good memory.
How to control anger in relationship?
Four Ways To Kick Anger Out Of Your Relationship
One of the common causes of fights is the inability to deal with your anger. Anger and resentment often lead to breakups in relationships.
Couples need to know how to manage anger if they want to make things work. Here are four ways to kick anger out of your relationship for good:
1- Think before you speak
Learn to think before you speak if you have anger-related issues.
Never rush into saying anything if you are angry.
Emotions often overpower reasoning whenever we are angry.
2- Practice active listening
Learn to be a good listener.
If you listen to your man or woman, you will be able to change their lives. Real men and women listen to the desires of their partners all the time.
3- Connect physically with your partner
Being connected to your partner is another effective way to deal with anger. When you are connected to him or her, you will find more reasons to tolerate them. Find out some of the things that connect you and work on the same.
4- Practice empathy
Your actions can make or break your love life. Learn to be empathic with your partner if you want things to work as expected.
There are the ups and downs of everyday life. You’re going to be frustrated at times with each other, but you’re together for a reason. You need to keep that in mind when the going does get tough as always.
I think you understand my point very clearly. Now, it’s your turn to make a good relationship. If you have any questions, then please comment and tell us about your relationship problems. We are waiting eagerly for your message. Please follow these advice if you want a healthy and strong relationship.
If you have any questions, please leave them down below. I am so excited to read your comments every single day. Thank you all for your love and support. Don’t forget to share this article with your friend.
Happy Relationship! Happy Life!
Read More: How To Fix A Broken Relationship