25 Secret Ways To Talk To Your Crush

Start a conversation with your crush

Hi, I’m Dr. Patricia, a relationship consultant, and motivational speaker. Today I’m talking about how to talk to your crush. It can be hard to work up the courage to talk to them when you like someone. But there is a simple rule that if you’re able to follow, you’ll be able to talk to them with no problem at all.

Anything longer will allow your brain to kick into worry mode, and therefore the nervousness will set in. Think about all the thoughts that ran through your mind the last time you hesitated to talk to your crush.

Ok, How do I approach them? Should I talk to their friends first? What if I run out of things to say? Maybe I should wait for them to come to speak to me. No, what if this is not the right time? Ah, I don’t know what to do. See, it wasn’t even worth going to talk to them anyway.

Deep down inside, we know these are excuses that we tell ourselves so that we don’t have to do it. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Ok, you want me to walk up there, and then what? What do I say? Do you want me to stand there like an idiot?

You’d be surprised how open and receptive some people are when someone comes up to them to talk. Yes, there will be fringe cases where people will act rude, ignore you, or be nervous themselves. But trust me, at the end of the day, you’re going to be incredibly proud of yourself for being about it and not talking about it.

25 Secret Ways To Talk To Your Crush

How to tell if your crush is into you? But I’ve never talked about that first conversation that you have with your crush. The first conversation is essential, and it’s hard enough to have the confidence to have that first conversation.

If you feel confident enough, it’s cool to start the conversation yourself or make sure that you’re proactive. I know how difficult this can be and how nerve-racking, or if you’re slightly awkward, how hard it is to do. So today, I’m going to be helping you try and make it simpler easier to do. I will give you some quick tips and tricks that I might use on my crush.

My advice will make it so much easier to talk to your crush, and I promise you it’ll get more comfortable and easier over time. So this is the unique guide to talking to your crush.

1. Be Confident Yourself

The most important thing about talking to your crush is confidence. You don’t want to be so cocky when you walk up to your crush. It will be like, ‘What’s wrong with you?” You do not want to be awkward. So, here you’re not going to feel uncomfortable if you have some confidence.

What you’re going to draw? You have to be like, ‘Hey baby! How do you do it?’ Don’t do that because that might be a little awkward unless you’re good friends with your crush.

Try to make some eye contact and smile. Don’t keep looking around like I do sometimes when I’m filming. I feel awkward and make them feel like you’re talking to your crush and not to the wall or the sky or your feet.

2. Be Yourself Real

After you go up to them, approach them. Talk to your crush. It’s important to be yourself. You don’t want to be fake. You don’t want to straight-up lie to try and get your crush to like you. I hope that made sense of things. You want to be yourself. That is what I’m trying to get crappie.

If it doesn’t matter if you’re awkward, if you’re different, if you have some weirdness, it is called obsession. It doesn’t matter if you have an obsession with mashed potatoes as I do.

Don’t think about who you are because you are beautiful. You’re going to talk about it to your crush or at least have a plan of how you’re going to make it happen. You don’t want to walk up to stumble, literally fall on your face, then get up and be like a joker bit and then runoff.

3. Be A Tactful Person

I don’t mean for you to be like the captain of the cheerleading team or anything. Say hi if you see your crush in the hallways or somewhere you guys see frequently. That’s all!

You need to say hi, and if you’re too shy to them, smile at them. That’s all you need to feel and look confident. Is this awkward? Should I have said hi instead of hate with hate? Along with it like, ‘Hey! Oh my god! I’m so weird’ This is so awkward.

You might think that it’s awkward, but at the end of the day, you’re juicing hello. You’re smiling at them. You’re not asking them to come over and have dinner with your whole family. It’s effortless. Remember that your crush is still a person.

They’re human beings as you are. They do the same thing that you do. They go to the bathroom, take a shower, brush their teeth, and they go to sleep at night like everybody does the same thing. You don’t put them on a pedestal. Try to be super chill and go for it.

4. Be Natural & Fresh

If your crush will be at a friend’s party, a basketball game, a football game, you stalk them on social media then go to the places. Do not overdress, and do not wear too much makeup.

The biggest turnoff is to overdo it and look like you’re trying too hard. The last thing you want to do is have your crush like someone you’re not. Because technically, they don’t like you. They like the person that you’re pretending to be.

You think that everybody likes beauty or being handsome, but you also know that everybody wants natural beauty. So be realistic and express your beauty through your behavior and intelligence. Most of the time, your wisdom is the real power of attraction. Try to be clean and use sweet perfume that makes your personality.

5. Don’t Be Too Clingy

If you made it past number one and two, and now you’re talking on social media on the phone, stay calm. Start with having a regular conversation. If you guys have similar classes, talk about the teacher, not the wrong way. Talk about your teacher; talk about your homework.

Talk about something straightforward and then go into a conversation that might be more intricate, far more specific. “Oh my god! They texted me! What do I say?” Keep it casual and pretend like you’re talking to your best friend.

Don’t be that person. You’re constantly texting them and continue calling them. Because if you think about it, would you personally want a clingy boyfriend or a girlfriend who regularly calls you? Sometimes it’s a little bit too much overload. Keep it normal.

6. Stop Overthinking

Don’t overthink it if your crush hasn’t texted you back in 20 minutes. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like you. They might be taking a shower eating dinner. Don’t overthink all these things inside your head. Because you’re going to psych yourself out, and then you’re going to realize that you were overthinking everything.

You were stressing out for nothing. ‘What if he doesn’t like me anymore?’ Don’t overthink things through your head and makeup all these stories. I’ve done that before. I’m not saying I haven’t done that before. That is why I’m telling you not to do it.

7. Ask Your Crush Some Question

How to start a conversation with your crush? If you don’t know how to approach your crush or the guy or girl you like, you can always ask your crush a question. ‘Do you know the math homework tonight?’ or ‘Hey! What’s the weather like outside? Do you know what I’m going to be going out? I need to know what the weather is like or run into your crush in the hallway.

When it comes to talking to your crush, make sure to ask many questions in general. People enjoy talking about themselves. It’s human nature. Because things that relate to you are of the most interest to you, asking questions allows the person to talk about themselves. Even more important is letting the person talk about themselves.

It is a great way to show someone that you’re interested in. What they have to say and you’re interested in learning more about them, it’s crucial. You’re listening to what they say. You can make all these mental notes of things you’re learning.

It can maybe be useful in future conversations. It’s important to note. You want to try to avoid yes-or-no questions instead of asking, ‘Do you like comedy movies?’ You would ask, ‘What kind of movies do you like?’

This seems simple, but by asking open-ended questions. You’re extending the conversation, and quite frankly, you’re putting less pressure on yourself, which is allowing the other person to open up.

If things go well, their answers might strike a similarity with you, something that you can relate to, and something maybe that you both have in common. It leads to more and more conversation. It shows that you guys are connecting on different levels, which is very exciting.

8. Don’t Try Too Hard

This is easier said than done, but it’s important to remember. If you’re trying hard to have a perfect conversation, you mess nothing up. The harder you try to make the conversation happen, the more stress you’re putting on yourself. It makes it harder for you to be yourself. Let your natural personality come out in the conversation.

It’s fair to have some things in mind ahead of time like, what you want to say and what you want to ask, but remember, once the conversation happens, it’s organic. It’s best if it’s kept that way it is. Let the conversation lead you.

Don’t force a topic in that doesn’t feel like it needs to be brought up. Go with the flow and try to be as calm as possible! It’s not always that easy, but if you can find a way, at least be as chill as you possibly can. You’re going to see the conversation be a lot easier and a lot more effective.

9. Learn About Your Crush

The next thing you should learn as much as possible about the person. I have already briefly mentioned this, but if you can try to remember the little details and fun facts about the person’s life, anything that they’re telling you. Such as the name of their dogs or how many siblings they have. You got to learn simple things like that and have that ready for future conversations.

It’s going to show that you were listening to what they had to say. You showed so much interest that not only did you pay attention, but you made it a point to remember those types of things. On that note, make sure you try to learn what’s most important to that person.

Often, things about their family and friends and learning about their hobbies and things of that sort. When you’re choosing what questions to ask them, you’ll be able to tell what they’re into. Those are the things you want to try to remember, and on that note, make sure you try to ask questions about things that are generally important to people, like family and friends.

10. Avoid Awkward Silence & Keep Talking

When talking to your crush, do not be afraid of awkward silence in every conversation. There’s always at least a little bit of silence in between sentences or in between trains of thought.

It is perfectly natural for some reason, and a long pause can feel like it’s lasting ten minutes, but it’s only been like three seconds. However, you want to deal with awkward silence and kick the conversation back up. There are two different ways you can do this.

The first and the more unpopular way is to wait it out and make the other person say something first. Believe it or not, this shows that you’re confident enough where the awkward silence doesn’t phase you, and you’re going to wait for them to say something. Eventually, they will, making you look like you are confident in yourself. It can be an excellent thing.

If you’re not willing to do that or you tried it, and it didn’t work, that would be awkward. Let’s hope that’s not the case. It’s something that I usually do is I’ll look around and look for anything to trigger thought in my mind. I’ll look at this couch would be like that chair seems comfortable. It’s pretty nice for an outdoor restaurant.

I was here one time with my cousin from out of town, and we had a perfect salad. You should try the salad. That was the example, but still, you can find a way to find something around. We relate to it or change direction in the conversation, almost like a lifesaver. It will help with the awkward silence thing, and then you’ll get back into talks.

11. Do Flirting With Your Crush

It is the moment that you’ve been thinking about for a long time. You’re here all those times that you’ve thought about like, I wish I would have said something to this person or I want to, I text them.

All of that doesn’t matter. It will be nerve-wracking because you’re in the position, which might be a little stressful. If you can find a way to be as calm and collective as possible, it’s going to be a fantastic experience.

The fact that you’re even in the conversation, even if it doesn’t go anywhere and this isn’t turning into a relationship, you’ll be able to sleep at night knowing you tried. It’s going to feel good. If you’re in a conversation and get a little embarrassed, you blush, or you’ve messed up a little bit.

That’s not bad. It is attractive because they tell you that you’re trying. You probably like them, and that’s flirting. It is the definition of flirting. So, it’s not awful if you mess up a little bit. It shows that you’re feeling strong enough emotions to be nervous. It’s a cool thing.

12. Be Honest With Your Crush

Many people believe that being someone else, older, more athletic, and someone with an accent will make them more appealing. But it won’t, and even if it does, you’ll eventually have to be honest with that person, and they’ll feel betrayed.

The hardest part is initiating the conversation. You feel like everything you say will be awkward, and you will somehow mess it up. Before you go up to them, go up with something genuine short and sweet thing to say. It could be I like your jacket or are you in Miss so-and-so’s class. I saw you in there. Even as simple as hello could start a conversation that could lead to something more.

13. Be Patient & Steady

It is the most crucial part of the advice. When you are preparing to talk to your crush, your goal shouldn’t be getting them to love you or even getting their phone number. Your goal should be the safe, “Hello!” You can only control what you say to them, not what they say in return. Always keep your patience and take time to feel your crush comfortable.

So don’t worry about what they’ll say in return. It’ll give you a huge confidence boost that your crush will notice. I’ve used this method, and it has got to the point that I don’t care if they say yes or not. I get proud of myself for asking. I’d instead ask and get rejected, then wonder what would have happened.

14. Develop A Character

The best way, in my opinion, to talk to your crush is to develop a character. I guess you’re shy and have no idea how to approach the person. So, you can either become this confident person that goes up and says, ‘Hey baby! Here’s my number’ It might work, and it might not. If you don’t want to be turned over the top, you could do the whole get your friend talk to your crush for you. My friend likes you. Go ask her out!

Don’t be available all time and talk at first. It defines your personality and value. Do something exciting or new that your crush wants to talk about it. You should act like a magician and create excitement to notice you. At first, need to know about their psychology and interest to win them easily.

15. Build Your Online Network

These days, the safest thing to do is talk on Facebook or MSN or something online. Because you can have a couple of moments to think about what you’re going to say to them, do the whole! Do you like me?

They’ll be like, ‘Yeah, you’re cool but do you like me because life means so much more?’ If they say no, at least you’re not standing in front of them, bursting into tears. You’re at home, bursting into tears.

If I had to recommend talking to your crush, I would do it online, and if you don’t have it online, You’re going to have to step up your stalker skills. You can always text them, but you have to get their number again.

It could be awkward, I guess. If you’re at school, you could always do the whole occasional smile throughout the day. The only problem with that is if he doesn’t like you back or if she doesn’t want you back, it could get awkward. That’s why I still think online is the safest way. They can’t see you.

16. Prepare Yourself By Practicing

Moving past your fears is putting yourself into a situation that you fear in the first place. It is so bad. But you’re either rewarded. What other options do you have? Growing up, it was accepting that I would probably be pining after someone unnoticed in the corner unless they happened to talk to me.

Or spending a fair amount of time imagining what I would say to them and maybe, maybe getting up enough to try it out. But now that I’m older and a bit more mature. Go back to the drawing board, think of some new topics and then try again tomorrow or the next week or however long it takes you to calm down and feel okay.

17. Think Positive

The great thing is that most people don’t realize what’s going on. They’re not like, “Oh, look at this dork trying to get me to crush on her. As if!” That’s a very Disney Channel movie style.

And real life isn’t like that. People are too busy and wrapped up in their world to worry about whatever it is you’re up to. No seriously! How much patience do you have to figure out what everyone else is doing? Like 90% of the time, it’s shaking your head and moving on.

Okay! So! Here we are! Talking to your crush is scary. Being afraid to speak to your crush is pretty standard. No one wants to be rejected! But the best you can do is go for it. Now how much planning you put into beforehand, that’s up to you!

18. Make Your Conversation Interesting

Put yourself through different experiences to learn how to handle them when you go for what you want. You’re ready, but how exactly do you practice talking to your crush? If talking to them is what you’re scared of, how do you practice talking to them?

Well, instead of talking to them, you’re going to want to focus your attention on talking to girls or guys that you’re less intimidated by. This is something I call the warm-up. Usually, you can’t think of anything to say when you approach your crush and start talking to them.

You don’t know how it’s going to go. You haven’t been social yet. So you want to be social with someone that you’re less intimidated with to get things going, only to feel warmed up.

Doing that will make it easier for you to get into the flow of having a conversation. You’ll feel a little bit more relaxed, a little bit more at ease knowing that you’ve been social with someone. So once you’ve broken that ice and asked some questions and talked to them, talking to your crush will seem a little bit easier.

19. Create A Story While Talking

I can approach them and talk to them, but I don’t know how to speak to them. This is essential for preparing two or three go-to stories, things that you feel comfortable talking about with anyone. And you can talk in-depth about it without feeling nervous, afraid, or messing up what you’re talking about.

Having go-to stories in a conversation operates like bumpers when you’re bowling. They help provide the ball from directly falling in the gutter. Also, they help you get more precise with your aim to learn to throw it now, so it hits the pins.

A go-to story might be a fun story from your past, something you did with your friends, something you’re working on that’s creative, or anything you feel comfortable talking about.

For example, whenever I’m in a conversation with someone, a go-to story is to talk about YouTube and what I’m trying to accomplish with it. I can go on and on about any creative thing I’m pursuing. But the key to a beautiful go-to story is learning how to incorporate that person’s feedback as you’re talking.

20. Don’t Misguide Yourself

When you see your crush, give yourself no more than three seconds to walk up to them and to say something. Some people ask, do I count to three and then go, or do I try to run up to them in three seconds?

Talk to them because if you wait any longer, if you stand around thinking about what you’re going to say, you’re going to freeze up. You’re going to come up with a million reasons as to why you can’t do it, but if instead, you’re focusing on that countdown. You’re getting ready to propel yourself. Once you’re in motion, you’re doing it.

You’re going to talk to them. You’re going to say something. Whether or not you mess up at the moment, that’s entirely different. The point here isn’t so much to have the perfect conversation or know precisely what to say. It’s to get comfortable with approaching your crush.

So even if you say something like, hey, how’s it going? Or hi in general, that’s success in my book. If you practice talking to people, if you have go-to stories that you can rely on, you push yourself not to overthink things at the moment and give yourself no more than three seconds to approach them.

21. Show The Real Interest

You shouldn’t put up a front. You shouldn’t like why you would waste your time. It makes no sense to me. People waste their time with fake behavior like fake interest doesn’t make any sense. Try to make it creepy, like, oh my god, I’ve been watching you from a distance and how your nostrils flare.

When you get excited about something unique, don’t do that. But at the same time, I can say that if someone told me that, I would think that that’s hilarious it’s a little creepy. But it’s funny enough where I would appreciate the bizarre nature of that compliment. I prefer to leave you on a joke and leave on someone laughing because that’s always a good note to remember.

I never want to linger us out of a group setting right. So if I talk to somebody, I have a natural inclination to make people laugh, like my goal. Don’t shortchange yourself by making fake statements and fake interests. It’s a waste of your time, and there’s everybody involved.

22. Give Priority

Just walk on over and say, “Hey, I wanted to stop by and say, what’s up. Where are you heading off to?”. With a simple statement like that, your approach is very casual, and the conversation is incredibly light.

The second conversation starter is to make an observational comment like, “Hey, those are cool shoes; where’d you get them?” Or “hey, I’m heading to the movies this weekend with my friends. What do you recommend I go watch?”.

Do you think it’s impossible or too hard for you to approach your crush in 3 seconds? Leave your comment down below, and we’ll talk about it.

23. Share Your Opinion

There’s a difference between staring and looking. You never want to sit there and stare at them. Because staring means that you’re looking at them with no intention to talk to them. You’re trying to pierce the inner depths of their soul.

Now that the two of you have locked eyes, you can either call them over to you or speak to them by saying something like, “Hey, can we talk for a minute?” that is your first initiator of flirting.

Before you show them that you like them, you have to hold a conversation. As to what you should talk about, the floor is yours. Many guys and girls share tons of common interests like video games, music, movies.

Those are all great topics to start talking about. If you know what your crush is into, don’t be afraid to speak to them about it. By activating a genuine conversation about something fun, they’re going to pick it up, and you’re going to create a friendly vibe between you two.

24. Give Your Crush Compliment

What if you don’t exactly want it to be “too friendly”? In this case, complimenting them about something they do can work here. For example, let’s say you tell a joke, and they laugh.

Saying something like “you have a charming laugh” can help break that friendship barrier. When it comes to touching or getting physical, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask to hold to their hand or to stand close to them if you feel like the two of you are getting along.

Never force someone to do something that they don’t want to do, but keep being persistent in your approach so that you keep moving from step a to step b. and you don’t end up falling in the back and having them not know whether or not you’re interested.

What do you guys think, though? Do you have trouble flirting with your crush? Leave your comments below, and we’ll talk about them. Flirting is all about being friendly, making the other person feel comfortable, and not shying away from how you think.

25. Just Do It

If you easily trip up significantly in a conversation, you want to go in there with a game plan that you can rely on. The butterflies get the best of you, and your head starts fogging. Another vital key to preparation is how you look. This means you’re going to wear your best outfit when you’re going to approach your crush that day. Also, this is going to do two things for you.

First, it will give you a great first impression when you first approach. The second thing, It’s going to give you an instant juice of confidence.

You want to set up your mindset to put things into perspective to think most guys fear rejection. Nobody likes getting rejected, but you are not even trying to leave you at a 0% chance of ever dating your crush or getting to know. So that at the bat you try, you’re already winning.


Have you ever been too darn afraid to talk to your crush? Uh, yeah! There is no point in thinking about asking them out or getting over awkward because I’m too scared to even look in their direction. So what does being “too afraid to talk to your crush” mean?

Being “too afraid to ask your crush out” is being afraid of rejection. Like you’re friends, or you’re comfortably under the radar and afraid of messing that up. But you might be so fearful that you can’t even bring yourself to talk to them. Don’t worry about your crush because there are many fish in the sea, and you’re going to find another crush.

I hope this article helped you talk to your crush or approach your crush and get ready to talk to your crush. Also, If you liked it, make sure you guys share it with your friends.

Read More: 40 Practical Ways To Get Over A Crush

Patricia Lyon

Hi, I'm Patricia Lyons, a relationship advisor, consultant, and author of this blog. If you have problems with your relationship or marriage life then this blog site is only for you. Our experts explain every relationship issue and fix the problem with practical experience. We also provide you the love stories, poems, SMS to make your relationship healthy.

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