Hi, I’m Dr. Patricia, a relationship consultant, and motivational speaker. Today I’m talking about how to talk to your crush. When you like someone, it can be hard to work up the courage to talk to them. But there is a simple rule that if you’re able to follow, you’ll be able to talk to them with no problem at all.
Anything longer will allow your brain to kick into worry mode, and therefore the nervousness will set in. Think about all the thoughts that ran through your mind the last time you hesitated to talk to your crush.
Ok, How do I approach them? Should I talk to their friends first? What if I run out of things to say? Maybe I should wait for them to come to speak to me. No, what if this is just not the right time? Ah, I don’t know what to do. See, it wasn’t even worth going to talk to them anyway.
And deep down inside, we know these are excuses that we just tell ourselves so that we don’t have to do it. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Ok, you want me to just walk up to her/his, and then what? What do I say? Do you want me to just stand there like an idiot?
You’d be surprised how open and receptive some people are when someone comes up to them to talk. Yes, there will be fringe cases where people will act rude, ignore you, or be nervous themselves. But trust me, at the end of the day, you’re going to be incredibly proud of yourself for being about it and not just talking about it.
25 Secret Ways To Talk To Your Crush
How to tell if your crush is into you and things like that. But I’ve never really talked about that first conversation that you have with your crush. The first conversation is essential, and I mean, it’s hard enough to have the confidence to have that first conversation.
If you feel confident enough, it’s cool to start the conversation yourself or just make sure that you’re proactive. I know how difficult this can be, and how nerve-racking or if you’re slightly awkward, how hard it is to do. So today, I’m going to be helping you try and make it simpler easier to do. I’m just going to give you some quick tips and tricks that I might use on my crush.
My advice will make it so much easier to talk to your crush, and I promise you it’ll get more comfortable and easier over time. So this is the unique guide to talking to your crush.
1. Be Confident Yourself
The first thing that is super important when talking to your crush has confidence. You don’t want to be so cocky when you walk up to your crush. It will be like, ‘What’s wrong with you?” You do not want to be awkward. So, here you’re not going to feel uncomfortable if you have some confidence.
You know what you’re going to draw. You have to be like, ‘Hey baby! How do you do it?’ Just kidding! Don’t do that because that might be a little awkward unless you’re good friends with your crush.
Try to make some eye contact and smile. Don’t keep looking around like I do sometimes when I’m filming. I feel awkward and make them feel like you’re talking to your crush and not to the wall or the sky or your feet.
2. Be Yourself Real
After you go up to them, approach them. And talk to your crush. It’s important to be yourself. You don’t want to be fake. You don’t want to straight-up lie to try and get your crush to like you. I hope that made sense of things. You want to be yourself. That is what I’m trying to get crappie.
If it doesn’t matter if you’re awkward, if you’re different, if you have some weirdness, it is called obsession. It doesn’t matter if you have an obsession with mashed potatoes as I do.
Don’t think about who you are because you are beautiful. You’re going to talk about it to your crush or at least have a plan of how you’re going to make it happen. You don’t want to walk up to stumble, literally fall on your face, then get up and be like a joker bit and then runoff.
3. Be A Tactful Person
I don’t mean for you to be like the captain of the cheerleading team or anything. If you see your crush in the hallways or somewhere that you guys see frequently, say hi. That’s all!
You need to do say hi, and if you’re too shy to them, smile at them. That’s all you need to feel and look confident. Is this awkward? Should I have said hi instead of hate with hate? Along with it like, ‘Hey! Oh my god! I’m so weird’ This is so awkward.
You might think that it’s awkward, but at the end of the day, you’re juicing hello. And you’re smiling at them. You’re not asking them to come over and have dinner with your whole family. It’s effortless. Remember that your crush is still a person.
They’re just a human being as you are. They do the same thing that you do. They go to the bathroom, take a shower, brush their teeth, and they go to sleep at night like everybody does the same thing. You don’t put them on a pedestal. Try to be super chill and go for it.
4. Be Natural & Fresh
If you know that your crush will be at a friend’s party, a basketball game, a football game, you stalk them on social media then go to the places. Do not overdress, and do not wear too much makeup.
I think the biggest turnoff is to overdo it and look like you’re trying too hard. The last thing you want to do is have your crush like a person that you’re not. Because technically they don’t like you. They like the person that you’re pretending to be.
You think that everybody likes beauty or handsome, but you also know that everybody wants natural beauty. So be realistic and express your beauty through your behavior and intelligence. Most of the time, your wisdom is the real power of attraction. Try to be clean and use sweet perfume that makes your personality.
5. Don’t Be Too Clingy
If you made it past number one and two, and now you’re talking on social media on the phone, stay calm. Start with having a regular conversation. If you guys have similar classes, talk about the teacher, not in the wrong way. Talk about your teacher; talk about your homework.
Talk about something straightforward and then go into a conversation that might be more intricate, far more specific. “Oh my god! He/She just texted me! What do I say?” Keep it casual and pretend like you’re talking to your best friend.
Don’t be that person where you’re constantly texting them and just continue calling them. Because if you think about it, would you personally want a clingy boyfriend or a girlfriend who regularly call you? Sometimes it’s a little bit too much overload. Keep it normal.
6. Stop Overthinking
Don’t overthink it if your crush hasn’t text you back in 20 minutes. It doesn’t mean that they don’t like you. They might be taking a shower, eating dinner. Don’t overthink all these things inside your head. Because you’re going to psych yourself out, and then you’re going to realize that you were overthinking everything.
You were stressing out for nothing. ‘What if he just doesn’t like me anymore?’ Don’t overthink things through your head and makeup all these stories. I’ve done that before. I’m not saying I haven’t done that before. That is why I’m telling you not to do it.
7. Ask Your Crush Some Question
How to start a conversation with your crush? If you don’t know how to approach your crush or the guy or girl you like, you can always ask your crush a question. ‘Do you know the math homework tonight?’ or ‘Hey! What’s the weather like outside? Do you know what I’m going to be going out? I need to know what the weather is like or run into your crush in the hallway.
When it comes to talking to your crush, make sure to ask a lot of questions in general. People enjoy talking about themselves. It’s human nature. Because things that relate to you are of the most interest to you, asking questions allows the person to talk about themselves. Even more important is letting the person talk about themselves.
It is a great way to show someone that you’re interested in. What they have to say and you’re interested in learning more about them, it’s crucial. You’re listening to what they say. You can make all these mental notes of things you’re learning.
It can maybe be useful in future conversations. It’s important to note. You want to try to avoid yes-or-no questions instead of asking, ‘Do you like comedy movies?’ You would ask, ‘What kind of movies do you like?’
I know this seems like such a simple thing, but by asking open-ended questions. You’re extending the conversation, and quite frankly, you’re putting less pressure on yourself, which is allowing the other person to open up.
If things go well, their answers might strike a similarity with you, something that you can relate to and something maybe that you both have in common. It leads to more and more conversation. It shows that you guys are connecting on different levels, which is very exciting.
8. Don’t Try Too Hard
Now, this is easier said than done, but it’s important to remember. If you’re trying hard to have an absolute perfect conversation where you mess nothing up, it’s unrealistic. The harder you try to make the conversation happen, the more stress you’re putting on yourself. It makes it harder for you to be yourself. Let your natural personality come out in the conversation.
I mean, it’s fair to have some things in mind ahead of time like, what you want to say and what you want to ask, but remember, once the conversation happens, it’s organic. It’s best if it’s kept that way it is. Let the conversation lead you.
Don’t force a topic in that doesn’t feel like it needs to be brought up. Go with the flow and try to be as calm as possible! It’s not always that easy, but if you can find a way, at least, be as chill as you possibly can. You’re going to see the conversation to be a lot easier and a lot more effective.
9. Learn About Your Crush
The next thing you should do is try to learn as much as possible about the person. I have already briefly mentioned this, but if you can try to remember the little details and fun facts about the person’s life, anything that they’re telling you. Such as the name of their dogs or how many siblings do they have. You got to learn simple things like that and have that ready for future conversations.
It’s going to show that you were listening to what they had to say. You showed so much interest that not only did you pay attention, but you made it a point to remember those types of things. On that note, make sure you try to learn what’s most important to that person.
Often, things about their family and friends and learning about their hobbies and things of that sort. When you’re choosing what questions to ask them, you’ll be able to tell what they’re into. Those are the things you want to try to remember, and on that note, make sure you try to ask questions about things that are generally important to people like family and friends.
10. Avoid Awkward Silence & Keep Talking
When you’re talking to your crush, do not be afraid of awkward silence in every conversation. There’s always at least a little bit of silence in between sentences or in between trains of thought.
It is perfectly natural for some reason, and a long pause can feel like it’s lasting ten minutes, but it’s only been like three seconds. However, when there is an awkward silence, you want to deal with it and kick the conversation back up. There are two different ways you can do this.
The first and the more unpopular way is to wait it out and make the other person say something first. Believe it or not, this shows that you’re confident enough where the awkward silence doesn’t phase you, and you’re going to wait for them to say something. Eventually, they will, and that will make you look like you are confident in yourself. It can be an excellent thing.
If you’re not willing to do that or you tried it, and it didn’t work, that would be awkward. Let’s hope that’s not the case. It’s something that I usually do is I’ll look around and look for anything to trigger thought in my mind. I’ll look at this couch would be like that chair seems comfortable. It’s pretty nice for an outdoor restaurant.
I was here one time with my cousin from out of town, and we had a perfect salad. You should try the salad. That was the example, but still, you can find a way to find something around. We relate to it or at least just to give a change of direction in the conversation, almost like a lifesaver. It will help with the awkward silence thing, and then you’ll get back into talks.
11. Do Flirting With Your Crush
It is the moment that you’ve been thinking about for a long time. You’re here all those times that you’ve thought about like, I wish I would have said something to this person or I want to, I sort of texting them.
All of that doesn’t matter. Because you’re actually in the position, it’s going to be nerve-wracking, which might be a little stressful. If you can find a way to be as calm and collective as possible, it’s going to be a fantastic experience.
I mean, the fact that you’re even in the conversation, even if it doesn’t go anywhere and this isn’t turning into a relationship, you’ll be able to sleep at night knowing you tried. It’s going to feel good. If you’re in a conversation and get a little embarrassed, you blush, or you’ve messed up a little bit.
That’s not bad. It is attractive because they tell that you’re trying. You probably like them, and that’s flirting. It is the definition of flirting. So, it’s not awful if you mess up a little bit. It shows that you know you’re feeling strong enough emotions to be nervous. It’s a cool thing.
12. Be Honest With Your Crush
Many people believe that being someone else, someone older, someone more athletic, someone with an accent, will make them more appealing. But it won’t, and even if it does, you’ll eventually have to be honest with that person, and they’ll feel betrayed.
The hardest part is initiating the conversation. You feel like everything you say will be awkward, and you will somehow mess it up. Before you go up to them, go up with something genuine short, and sweet thing to say. It could be I like your jacket or are you in Miss so-and-so’s class. I saw you in there. Even as simple as hello could start a conversation that could lead to something more.
13. Be Patient & Steady
It is the most crucial part of the advice. When you are preparing to talk to your crush, your goal shouldn’t be getting them to love you or even getting their phone number. Your goal should be the safe, “Hello!” You can only control what you say to them and not what they say in return. Always keep your patience and take time to feel your crush comfortable.
So don’t worry about what they’ll say in return. It’ll give you a huge confidence boost that your crush will notice. I’ve used this method, and it has got to the point that I don’t care if they say yes or not. I get proud of myself for actually asking. I’d instead ask and get rejected then wonder what would have happened.
14. Develop A Character
The best way, in my opinion, to talk to your crush is to develop a character. I’m guessing that you’re shy and you have no idea how to approach the person. So, you can either become this confident person that goes up and says, ‘Hey baby! Here’s my number’ It might work and it might not. If you don’t want to be turned over the top, you could do the whole get your friend talk to your crush for you. My friend likes you. Go ask her out!
Don’t be available all time and talk at first. It defines your personality and value. Do something exciting or new that your crush wants to talk about it. You should act like a magician and create excitement to notice you. At first, you need to know about his/her psychology and interest that you can win them easily.
15. Build Your Online Network
Probably the safest thing to do these days is to talk on Facebook or MSN or something online. Because you can have a couple of moments to think about what you’re going to say to them, do the whole! Do you like me?
They’ll be like, ‘Yeah, you’re cool but do you like me because life means so much more?’ If they say no, at least you’re not standing in front of them, bursting into tears. You’re at home, bursting into tears.
If I had to recommend talking to your crush, I would do it online, and if you don’t have it online, You’re going to have to step up your stalker skills. You can always send them a text, but you have to get their number first again.
It could be awkward, I guess. If you’re at school, you could always do the whole occasional smiles throughout the day. The only problem with that is if he doesn’t like you back or if she doesn’t want you back, it could get awkward. That’s why I still think online is the safest way. They can’t see you.
16. Prepare Yourself By Practicing
Moving past your fears is putting yourself into a situation that you fear in the first place. It is so bad. But you’re either rewarded. What other options do you have? For me growing up, it was accepting that I was probably always going to be pining after someone unnoticed in the corner unless they happened to talk to me.
Or spending a fair amount of time imagining what I would say to them and maybe, just maybe getting up enough to try it out. But now that I’m older and a bit more mature. Go back to the drawing board, think of some new topics and then try again tomorrow or the next week or however long it takes you to calm down and feel okay.
17. Think Positive
The great thing is that most people don’t realize what’s going on. They’re not like, “Oh, look at this dork trying to get me to crush on her. As if!” That’s a very Disney Channel movie style.
And real life just isn’t like that. People are too busy and wrapped up in their world to worry about whatever it is you’re up to. No seriously! How much patience do you have to figure out what everyone else is doing? Like 90% of the time, it’s just shaking your head and move on.
Okay! So! Here we are! Talking to your crush is scary. And being afraid to speak to your crush is pretty standard. No one wants to be rejected! But the best you can do is just go for it. Now how much planning you put into beforehand, that’s up to you!
18. Make Your Conversation Interesting
Put yourself through different experiences to learn how to handle them when you go for what you want. You’re ready, but how exactly do you practice talking to your crush? I mean, if talking to them is the thing that you’re scared of, how do you practice talking to them?
Well, I think instead of talking to them, what you’re going to wanna focus your attention on is talking to girls or guys that you’re less intimidated by. This is something I call the warm-up. Usually, when you want to approach your crush and start talking to them, you can’t think of anything to say.
You don’t know how it’s going to go. You haven’t been social just yet. So you want to be social with someone that you’re less intimidated with just to get things going, only to feel warmed up.
Doing that will make it easier for you to just get into the flow of having a conversation. You’ll feel a little bit more relaxed, a little bit more at ease knowing that you’ve been social with someone. So once you’ve kind of broken that ice and asked some questions and talked to them, talking to your crush will seem a little bit easier.
19. Create A Story While Talking
I can approach them and talk to them, but I don’t know what to speak to them. This is why I think it’s essential for you to prepare two or three go-to stories, things that you feel comfortable talking about with anyone. And you can talk in-depth about it without feeling nervous, afraid, or just messing up what you’re talking about.
Having go-to stories in a conversation sort of operates like bumpers when you’re bowling. They help provide the ball from just directly falling in the gutter. And they help you get more precise with your aim so that you can learn to throw it now, so it hits the pins.
A go-to story might be a fun story from your past, something that you did with your friends, or something you’re working on that’s creative, anything you feel comfortable talking about.
For example, whenever I’m in a conversation with someone, a go-to story is to just talk about YouTube and what I’m trying to accomplish with it. I can go on and on about any creative thing that I’m pursuing. But the key to a beautiful go-to story is learning how to incorporate that person’s feedback as you’re talking.
20. Don’t Misguide Yourself
When you see your crush, give yourself no more than three seconds to walk up to them and to say something. Some people tend to ask do I count to three and then go, or do I try to run up to them in three seconds?
Talk to them because if you wait any longer, if you stand around thinking about what you’re going to say, you’re going to freeze up. You’re going to come up with a million reasons as to why you can’t do it, but if instead, you’re focusing on that countdown. And you’re getting ready just to propel yourself. Once you’re in motion, you’re doing it.
You’re going to talk to them. You’re going to say something. Whether or not you mess up at the moment, that’s entirely different. The point here isn’t so much to have the perfect conversation or know precisely what to say. It’s to get comfortable with approaching your crush.
So even if you just say something like, hey, how’s it going? Or hi in general, that’s success in my book. If you practice talking to people, if you have go-to stories that you can rely on, and then you push yourself not to overthink things at the moment and give yourself no more than three seconds to approach them.
21. Show The Real Interest
You shouldn’t just put up a front. You shouldn’t just like why would you waste your time. It makes no sense to me. Why people waste their time with fake behavior like fake interest doesn’t make any sense. Try to make it like creepy, like, oh my god, I’ve been watching you from a distance and how your nostrils flare.
When you get excited about something unique, don’t do that. But you know, at the same time, I can say that if someone told me that, I would think that that’s hilarious it’s a little creepy. But it’s funny enough where you know I would appreciate the kind of bizarre nature of that compliment. I prefer to leave you on a joke and leave on someone laughing because that’s always a good note to remember.
I never want to linger us out of a group setting right. So if I talk to somebody, I mean I have a natural inclination to try to make people laugh, just like my goal. Don’t shortchange yourself by making fake statements and fake interest. It’s a waste of your time, and there’s everybody involved. So now the worst part is you might get rejected, something might happen damn, rejection sucks.
22. Give Priority
Just walk on over and say, “Hey, I just wanted to stop by and say, what’s up. Where are you heading off to?”. With a simple statement like that, your approach is very casual, and the conversation is incredibly light.
The second conversation starter is to make an observational comment like, “Hey, those are cool shoes; where’d you get them?” Or “hey, i’m heading to the movies this weekend with my friends. What do you recommend I go watch?”.
Do you think it’s impossible or too hard for you to approach your crush in 3 seconds? Leave your comment down below, and we’ll talk about it.
23. Share Your Opinion
There’s a difference between staring and looking. You never really want to sit there and stare at them. Because staring means that you’re looking at them with no intention to talk to them. And you’re just trying to pierce the inner depths of their soul.
Now that the two of you have locked eyes, you can either call them over to you or to speak to them by saying something like, “Hey, can we talk for a minute?” that is your first initiator of flirting.
Before you show them that you like them, you have to hold some kind of conversation. As to what you should talk about, the floor is yours. A lot of guys and girls share tons of common interests like video games, music, movies.
Those are all great topics to start talking about. If you know what your crush is into, don’t be afraid to speak to them about it. By activating a genuine conversation about something fun, they’re going to pick it up, and you’re going to create a friendly vibe between you two.
24. Give Your Crush Compliment
What if you don’t exactly want it to be “too friendly”? Well, in this case, complimenting them about something that they do can work here. For example, let’s say you tell a joke and they laugh.
Saying something like “you know, you have a charming laugh” can help break that friendship barrier. When it comes to touching or getting physical, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask to hold to their hand or to stand close to them if you feel like the two of you are getting along.
Never force someone to do something that they don’t want to do, but keep being persistent in your approach so that you keep moving from step a to step b. and you don’t end up falling in the back and having them not know whether or not you’re interested.
What do you guys think though, do you have trouble flirting with your crush? Leave your comments below, and we’ll talk about it. Flirting is all about being friendly, making the other person feel comfortable, and not shying away from how you think.
25. Just Do It
If you easily trip up significantly in a conversation, you want to go in there with a game plan that you can rely on. The butterflies get the best of you, and your head starts fogging. Another vital key to preparation is how you look. This means you’re going to wear your best outfit when you’re going to approach your crush that day. Also, this is going to do two things for you.
First thing, It’s going to give you a great first impression when you first approach.
The second thing, It’s going to give you an instant juice of confidence.
You want to set up your mindset to put things into perspective to think most guys fear rejection. Nobody likes getting rejected, but you are not even trying to leave you at a 0% chance of ever dating your crush or getting to know. So that just at the bat you try, you’re already winning.
Have you ever been just too darn afraid to talk to your crush? Uh, yeah! There is no point in thinking about asking them out or getting over awkward because I’m too scared to even look in their direction. So what does being “too afraid to talk to your crush” actually mean?
Being “too afraid to ask your crush out” is being afraid of rejection. Like you’re friends, or you’re comfortably under the radar and afraid of messing that up. But you might be so fearful that you can’t even bring yourself to talk to them. Don’t worry about your crush because there is a lot of fish in the sea, and seriously, you’re going to find another crush and like the week.
I hope this article helped you guys talking to your crush or approaching your crush and getting ready to talk to your crush. Also, If you liked it, make sure you guys share it with your friends.
Read More: 40 Practical Ways To Get Over A Crush