Hello everybody. What’s up? I hope you’re all having a fantastic week. How do you move on from a crush? Is it possible to break up with someone in your mind even if you don’t have a full-fledged relationship? Is it possible to walk away from that happy feeling whenever you think of or see that person? Yes, it is possible. There’s mainly meaning if this was your first crush, and now you must move on. It hurts so much. It is hard to pick up everything, walk away, and leave your crush behind. It’s so hard.
This helpful article gives detailed steps to move on from your crush, whether you have been rejected. Or you realize that things aren’t going to work out with them, or even if you know that they’re a jerk. They don’t deserve for you to have a crush on them anymore.
Why Is It So Hard To Get Over A Crush?
Getting over a crush can be challenging due to psychological and emotional factors. Here are a few reasons why it can be difficult to move on:
Emotional attachment: When we develop a crush, we invest time, energy, and emotions into the person. We build a fantasy or idealized image of them, making it harder to let go when reality doesn’t align with our expectations.
Uncertainty and hope: Crushes involve a sense of uncertainty and hope. We accept the possibility that the feelings will be reciprocated or the situation will change in our favor. This hope can keep us attached and make it harder to let go.
Rejection and disappointment: If our feelings for the crush are not reciprocated, it can lead to rejection and disappointment. Dealing with these emotions takes time and can prolong the process of moving on.
Loss of what could have been: A crush represents the potential for a romantic connection or relationship. When that potential doesn’t materialize, we grieve the loss of the imagined future we had envisioned with the person.
Familiarity and habit: Spending time thinking about and being around the crush can become a habit. Breaking this habit and creating new routines and thought patterns can be challenging.
Fear of missing out: There is a fear of missing out on a potentially fulfilling relationship or connection with the crush. This fear can make it harder to let go and move on.
Self-esteem and validation: A crush can provide a sense of validation and boost our self-esteem. Letting go means confronting our worth and seeking validation from within rather than relying on someone else.
Rumination and idealization: It’s common to ruminate on the positive aspects of the crush and idealize them. This can make it harder to let go because we become fixated on the perceived perfection of the person.
Remember that getting over a crush is a gradual process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and practice self-care. Engaging in activities you enjoy, seeking support from friends, and focusing on personal growth can help in moving on and redirecting your energy toward healthier relationships and opportunities.
Facts About Having A Crush On Someone
We need to determine whether or not this is a crush. So question number one asks yourself if you know this person. Do you know enough about them to have a crush on them genuinely? Have you seen them once or twice, and you’re like, okay?
They’re cute. No, that would be what I call the star games! We would break it down if you didn’t want to start gazes now. A stargaze is whenever you’ve watched celebrities and admired their beauty. But you don’t talk to stars, and you don’t go on dates with stars. The stars don’t know you. I call that a star gaze whenever you don’t know them, and you watch them and like them.
They create a crush when you have fallen for this person, and you want them to like you back. We’re always talking about getting into new relationships and flirting. It is as essential as a life skill to know how to overcome someone and move on, whether that’s a relationship or a past crush. Every single one of us gets rejected.
Rejection is one topic we don’t like to think about or discuss because it brings up bad feelings. It brings up bad memories and bad moments in our lives. It brings up a time when we felt inadequate, unloved, and uncared for. You know what I’m talking about. You have these intense feelings for someone. You want to get to know them better and talk to them.
So when you finally work up the courage to do so, it doesn’t go anywhere, but that doesn’t mean your feelings go away. You’re still sitting with them, unsure what to do with them because that person doesn’t like you back.
It’s completely normal to stay in that hurt once we get rejected. In a way, it’s a bit comforting to know that we feel bad for ourselves. We’re taking care of ourselves by doing that, and the idea of moving on, trying something new, and going after new people is scary, foreign, and weird to us.
It’s not a comfortable thing to do. Think about it: how much of your life will you dedicate to chasing this one person who doesn’t like you back? When you should be out there pursuing other people, getting to know others, meeting with them, interacting with them, and seeing who you click with.
Taking that step back will give you the more profound clarity you desire. If you want to learn more about relationships and interactions, you should check out my book Embracing The Awkward, where I go more in-depth on how to master those connections in your life.
40 Practical Ways To Get Over A Crush
How to move on from a crush? Let me frame this whole thing by saying that crushes seem very serious and real when you’re younger. Let me shatter your world and let you know that crushes are neither serious nor real. It seems very real, looks very serious, not at all, and you’re going to realize that over time.
I look back at myself in high school and college when crushes were so real, and I find it cringe-worthy now. I can’t put myself back in that mindset and make sense of it anymore because I still get crushes, but do they mean much? No. It doesn’t rule my life the way it used to. So how did I get past it, you might be wondering.
I will talk about a few things that I’ve personally done in the past to get over a crush. These are going to be harsh tips. If you’re not ready to forget someone yet, you’re still clinging to something that wasn’t that you should remember; what are you clinging to?
Many people around us will tell us because they see our situation and are like what they are clinging to, like a bad situation. They’re treating you poorly, or this is not going anywhere this bad for you.
They will tell you that, but that’s fine if you don’t feel ready to say goodbye to someone. That’s okay; take your time, but be realistic and ask yourself if this hurts me. It’s something that you think is great in that you want to keep it. If it’s hurting you now, realize it will be better for you.
1. Don’t Smash Your Feelings
Don’t try to squash your feelings. It can be tempting to put on a brave face and make everybody think you’re a happy self. The truth is you’ll probably feel a bit glum at first, even if you didn’t date this person. You wouldn’t even wonder why I am crying over someone who didn’t even take me in the first place. But your feelings are justified.
It can be as devastating losing a crush as losing an actual boyfriend or a girlfriend. So, feel your feelings. Don’t be afraid to talk to a friend. If you don’t want to talk to your friends about it, write in the journal. Do anything to get it out and feel what you are feeling. You can easily do this.
2. Create A Fabulous Look
Another way to move on is to remind yourself that you are fabulous by creating a brand-new look. This idea is to help you rock your inner bombshell instead of trying to make someone else jealous. Feeling confident and boosting your spirits is a huge part of moving on and feeling good about yourself.
Look in the mirror and remind yourself how awesome and sexy you are. I want to tell you something you might not have a girlfriend. Maybe you haven’t found love. You’re so sexy. Just remember that and move on from your crush.
You have to remember that you’re hot and deserve to be wanted. If someone doesn’t want you back the way you want them, that’s bull crap and missing out. There’s someone else that’s going to be dying to get your attention. So sometimes have to get a little ego boost. It’s good for the soul, mind, and spirits.
3. Reward Yourself
You may not want to do this one. But I promise you that you will feel so much better afterward. It’s to do things by yourself. Doing things by yourself helps you develop confidence. It also enables you to explore your interests and things you like that maybe your crush or ex didn’t even like.
For example, if you’re a vegan and love exploring new vegan restaurants, check out some on your own. It can feel personally rewarding for you. It also gets you around other people who share your interests, and you never know who you will meet. You might be in a situation where you think nobody could fall for you again as you did for this person.
4. Realize The Reality
It is precisely to help you with that, and it’s a little weird too. But it’s to be a people watcher. It is going out and doing things like sitting on a bench in a park and watching the people go by or opening your eyes when riding the subway and looking at the people around you.
Consciously doing this reminds you that so many people exist right now. You might feel like this loss is the only person who matters, but it won’t feel like that forever. The sooner you realize how many other people there are in this world living their lives, the sooner you’ll get to that nice place.
5. Focus On Your Self-improvement
Now, this is different than the self-love we talked about earlier. It is improving a skill or a part of yourself. Things like working out, networking, and starting up a new hobby improve some of your skills or and can help you feel more confident and ready to take on the world. You are already beautiful and perfect the way you are.
We already know that, but feeling like you’re bettering yourself and making yourself no more or being able to do more. It puts you in a good emotional state. It makes you feel good and distracts you slightly from what you might be going through right now.
If you’re going through a heartbreak right now, think about what your best friend would say to you, you’re beautiful, you’re talented, you’re smart, you’re going to be okay. Your friends know you well enough to know that you’ll get through this and get through it too.
6. Write A-List
Write a list of what you want in your future husband or wife. Once you’ve listed all those qualities, I want you to see which ones your crush is missing. Because there will be some things that I’m pretty sure he or she doesn’t have.
That’ll help you get in the process of thinking, ‘There’s someone better for me out there. You meet someone for the first time, or you are boyfriend and girlfriend with someone or something along that line, and you realize that they are on their best behavior. If they’re on their best behavior and if they’re still not kind to you or they’re still not doing things that you’re so happy about, that’s their best behavior.
Think about whether you’re married to that person or dating long-term. That’s not going to be something you’ll want in your life. You want happiness, productivity, and things that will grow you.
7. Express Your Pain
It’s an unusual way that I’m going to say to cry and let yourself break. But the reason I say that is for a couple of reasons. Number one, When you cry, it releases endorphins, which is good.
Second, you let this go when you cry, and you break. You’re finally not postponing this pain. Because when you hold on to everything, you don’t let go. You’re delaying all this pain and putting yourself on this shelf.
You’re finding a fake rest and fake peace. Because you’ll break eventually, and it will be even more challenging. You’re pushing so much off, and you get depressed, sad, or lonely or have these hollowed-out relationships.
Those are all signs of you pushing off brokenness and pain. In my life, I learned that my brokenness and my problem are the times you can heal when you’re broken. That’s a form of healing, so that’s how you begin to heal yourself. You have to do it. You have to let yourself go!
8. Let Your Crush Go
I’m a dreamer. Being human, we often like to daydream. Stop making up fantasies about you and this person together. I’ve also learned that you can’t change people, no matter how much you want to change them. No matter how much that person or your opinion is right, you can’t change them.
You can’t make somebody change. So, let him/her go. You have people say, ‘If you love something, let it go. If it’s meant to be, it’ll come back to you. If you think about it, it can’t go back to you. If you haven’t let it go, you must let it go. It can’t come back and work out if you don’t let it go initially. To begin with, that’s helped me in my mental process.
9. Do Something New
You can talk to a friend whenever I talk to someone who works for me. I realized that two of these things helped me. Number one is a creative expression to release all those emotions and feelings.
For example, I wrote down our music dance. You can do writing poetry. I make music. I don’t even show some of the songs that I write. It’s for me to put my words, feelings, and creativity into something to feel better. It is my little piece of someone understanding you the way I do. I am there for myself.
My second thing about doing something is simply realizing you’re not alone. You’re not the only one going through this thing in life. Some so many people want to get over their crush. Some people are going through breakups and brokenness, which may have nothing to do with a guy or a girl. People are going through stuff; we all are. That is something that helps me a lot of times.
I realize I don’t know how to figure myself out or feel okay. So what I do is I go, and I stop being selfish. You’re focusing on me and letting me talk to my other friend. I thought she’s gone through something, and you’ll begin to realize that you help other people when you go. You’ll start to heal. Why not help others out of that working spot? It doesn’t sound like it would make sense. It would work.
10. Be Positive
You must realize that there are many things in life and the world. Magazines and the TV they’re telling you all these things. But that doesn’t mean it’s true. It’d be like telling you that this shirt is white, and you believe it because I told you so.
You need to guard your heart and trust that you are amazing. You deserve it. You are awesome. Think about that and begin to develop yourself as a person. Because whoever you are, the type of person you are is the type of person you’ll attract.
11. Take Your Crush As Fun
It sounds so heart-wrenching and challenging, and critical. But no! A scientific study showed that when people were instructed to think evil thoughts about their ex and saw photos of them later, their feelings were less intense. Honestly, they were terrible kissers.
They were the worst dresser. None of his clothes matched. The guy was never at school. You might think your heart doesn’t listen to instructions from your brain. But it does! For example, if you’re artistic, you can draw a funny picture of your crush, looking at their worst. It is almost guaranteed to make you feel better.
12. Study About Brain & Make Good Habits
It is going to be surprising to boost your mood with serotonin. We’re getting a little bit deeper into psychology and brain chemistry. What is serotonin? It is a chemical in your body that sends signals between your nerves. It is associated with a lot of different functions. But the one that we’re concerned with right now is your mood. When you get a burst of serotonin, you feel terrific.
If you don’t get enough, you feel depressed, and there are two ways to increase your serotonin right now. Why not do that? The first way is eating certain foods that give you a serotonin rush, and the second is getting in the Sun. That is a real sentence I’m about to say. If you want to move on from your crush or ex more quickly, why not grab many of your friends and do a fabulous picnic where you bring many superfoods and get in the Sun?
13. Unfollow Your Crush From Social Media
If you want to stop liking someone fast, unfollow them on their social media. No excuses! You have to do this. Some of you are going to say I’m so strong. I can follow them, and I will never check. No! I don’t believe you. It is so hard! The hardest thing I’m ever going to have to do! If you still like someone, you will be tempted to check. You need to get rid of that temptation for yourself.
Knowing that you could check it anytime keeps you from moving on. Unfollow them on every platform. It might be embarrassing that they notice, but this will help you move on. That’s where my best interest is.
After you have unfollowed your crush on all the platforms, follow three to five new accounts about things that make you smile. Things that make you happy. It could be funny memes. It could be animals. It could be babies. It could be bloggers. Whatever makes you happy.
14. Do Meditation
The next step is one of my favorite ways to jump someone. The whole world knows that. Most people don’t realize that exercise increases serotonin, like getting outside and eating food, whether you’re dancing with your friends and having a super fun night out or getting moving.
Go for a walk, put your headphones in, and do a nice meditation walk. It is a positive vibe for your body and can put you in a positive. Leave that crush and sadness. The other massive advantage of moving your body is getting out there and meeting new people. Usually, good relationships and good bonds help you mentally set aside your ex or crush.
15. Make New Memories
You need to go and make new memories in all places where you used to see yourself with your crush or ex. This sounds complicated and time-consuming. It works. It is going to trick your brain. Because every time you go into those places, inevitably, you’re going to be reminded of the previous times that you had interactions about it, where he/she looked at me for the first time.
He/she used to stand in front of the red lockers all the time. When you make new memories in these places, you establish new neural pathways. You’re going to remember not only your ex or your crush but also you’re going to have all these lovely new memories in those places.
Take control, empower yourself, and create new things. That’s going to help you move on mentally. One of the things that suck when we’re trying to get over a person is that our mind continues going on this like a feedback loop of thoughts about them. You’re thinking about things and remember all the fun times you had. You’re wondering where you went wrong. You’re not getting anywhere with the thoughts; they’re always there.
16. Find Out The Error
One way to stop doing this is to write down everything going on here and put it into a journal on paper. Because that solidifies the thought, it stops you from thinking about it.
When writing these thoughts down in a journal, you want to summarize what went wrong. Why didn’t your crush or your ex become the love of your life? Even get down to their personality traits. Things you loved seeing. Something that you didn’t like. Be as detailed as you can and get it all out.
17. Disconnect Your Crush From All Network
We’re going to think that I care too much. They’re toxic about social media, especially Snapchat, Instagram Stories, and stuff like that; you’re regularly updated about what someone is doing with their lives. It’s very toxic if you’re trying to forget someone. It’s a constant reminder. It is not right, so it’s slightly better mentally for you to unfollow them, at least on social media.
You might want to keep them on Facebook or something where you’re not updated continuously about their day. But 24/7 updates on someone you’re trying to stop thinking about or that are not good for your psyche. If you’re linked to them in any way, like games or whatever archive, the chats remove the chats and chat history. It ends up feeling like you don’t have a history with them anymore because it’s stored history.
You’re not going to find them anywhere anymore throughout your phone. So take their number out of your phone, take them out, and then it has nothing to do with caring a lot. People fear it’s a clinical process, so they care too much. But it has nothing to do with that. It involves getting them out of your life because of their baggage, and you don’t need bags.
18. Everybody Has a Crush In Life
If you’re sad about it, feel sorry about it. That’s okay, and if you want to rebound about it, look for other people to get attention. In the end, getting over someone is a lot like losing someone, and going over that is a lovely great. Because you have to come to terms with that person not being in your life anymore, even though it’s your toy, it still feels that way, so allow yourself at that period.
It’s okay to have a few conversations about it with your friends. In general, when it comes to getting over a crush, it’s putting it away. Stop thinking about it. It has to be low on your plan. It shouldn’t be on your list anymore. So stop talking about them to your friends.
19. Avoid Negative Conversations
Do not talk about them in negative ways. Don’t be toxic about them because of negative vibes, even though they’re not about you, but someone else reflected on you. What are the prettiest people? It has a reflection on everything, and this might sound crazy.
I don’t support what I’m saying, but negative people are ugly. It reflects, and it flows through your entire body. Even people who talk about other people even though they deserve it. When you speak about other people, it’s ugly for your soul, and it’s ugly for your life. It won’t help you in any way and will make you feel more pain.
If you have something to say about them, say- We don’t live anymore. It hurts me too much. I’m not mad and don’t want to say bad things about them. They don’t deserve that either, but it’s better for me. I’m happier now, that’s fine, that’s enough.
20. Make A Distance
I always recommend that people remove them from social connections or mute their posts. The more you look at their pages and see the things they post, the more you will get invested in their lives and continue thinking about them. There’s a real fear of missing out if you unfollow them because what if they break up with that person and you’re not there to catch them and go out with them?
Or, what if they are having a bad day and you’re not there to help them through it? The fact is, you’re always putting yourself in a scenario where you can jump in and you can be a part of their life. Still, if they’re with someone else, the best thing for you to do is detach yourself, focus on your growth and development, and even talk to others.
Because the more you obsess over them, the more you continuously look at their feed, like their pictures, comment on them, and interact with them, the harder it will be for you to overcome them.
I wouldn’t recommend blocking them because they might ask you questions like, “Why am I blocked?” which involves you again in their lives, which you are not trying to do here.
21. Make an Outline Of Your Hobbies & Plays
Outline your hobbies and your interests and pursue them. Often, people stay obsessed with their crush because that’s the only thing in their lives. But if you have items, you enjoy doing things and can pursue them. That will help take the focus and attention from your crush. Put it on things that are better for yourself.
Look, even if you tell yourself you’ll read a hundred books and play a thousand different sports. You’re still going to have intrusive thoughts about your crush pop in from time to time. But by having a place to redirect them to, telling yourself, “Wow, I’m thinking about them again. Let me go and play a sport.
Hey, let me read a book. Let me do something else. You’re able to shift your focus and shift your attention. Training yourself to rewire your activity every time those thoughts pop up is a matter of training yourself. Because when they do, it might start bringing you down and making you think they’re the only person for you.
22. Create A Community
You may not currently like anyone else. This aims to meet new people, make new friends, get to know people, and see how you can develop new crushes on them. Have you ever told yourself that the person you currently like is perfect?
Answer in the poll right there. But, many times, we do this simply because we don’t know as many people compared to them. So by putting yourself out there and meeting new people, you can compare and contrast different people. You might still tell yourself this crush is always better than everyone else. The fact remains that you expand your options and potential for meeting someone new by meeting new people.
Plus, it allows you also to shift your focus and attention from that crush again. You’ll look at that crush differently as you meet new people. You will begin to say, “Well, this other person is much funnier than my crush.
This other person is a lot more outgoing. Wow. These other people have traits my crush doesn’t rank number one on.” But what do you do when you return to interacting with your crush?
Maybe it’s against your own choices.
23. Be Calm
Be calm and casual every single time you interact with them. If you were friends before, it would be hard to walk away and pretend like that friendship never happened. There will be moments when you will interact with them. So in those moments, try not to dig too deep into their story and what’s happening to them. The more you learn, the more those thoughts will stay rested in your mind.
Maybe they will mention something about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They may even mention anything that they say about being happy or sad. It will get plugged into your mind, and you’ll have to repeat it.
In those situations, try to keep the conversation short if you can. Try not to reveal too much about what’s going on in your life and how you’re pursuing other people.
So you sound like you are boasting because that might lead to them talking about their experience. That’s the last thing you want to learn too much about. So try to keep it short and very simple. Have necessary conversations with them; walk away and let them go if possible.
24. Set Up Strong Boundaries
It is going to make or break your obsession with your crush. That’s to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Often, people want to fall into friendships with their crush, thinking if I’m close to them, if I’m in their lives, then when they break up, they will choose me next. But what ends up happening is you end up getting friend-zoned.
The closer you become to that person as their friend, the harder it will be for them to break you out of that role in their mind. It will be harder for them to transition into looking at you like someone to date if you’re such a close friend potentially. They don’t want to lose that friendship bond in the potential you guys can date, and it might not work out.
That’s why separating yourself from them and doing your own thing is vital. Because as you get older and as time passes, when you reconnect with them later, they will see you as different. A person that’s grown and mature. A person who knows what they want is a potential person they may be interested in, whereas the original person they knew back then wasn’t.
Ultimately, this all boils down to the fact that if your crush is dating someone and wants to clear your obsession with them, you will need to let them go. They’re not ready to go out with you, and you’re not in a place where you can go if you need to.
You never want to be so obsessed with a person that you can’t stop thinking about them, and you’re directing your life in a way that doesn’t involve them. You want to have control of yourself. The first step here is to work on your obsession.
25. Your Crush Is A Common Person
Make a list of all the things you don’t like about them. This might seem mean and cruel, but it’s not. It is to help you realize that you and your crush may not have been that compatible after all and that everyone is human.
If you put your crush up on a pedestal, they’re going to seem like an angel or with the perfect person that would have been so perfect in a relationship. Still, realistically everyone is human, and nobody lives up to that excellent standard. Write a comprehensive list of things about your crush that can help remove that perfect status in your mind.
Some of you will say, “But there’s nothing bad about my crush. They’re so perfect.” You’re lying. There is something not so great about everyone.
So now is your chance to reveal everything about your crush. We know you’ve been putting them on a pedestal, and they’re not so perfect. So now is your chance to let those feelings out. Plus, all of the things that are not so great about them. It helps to humanize your crush and help you stop obsessing over them. They’re not perfect. Everybody has faults.
26. Be Productive
Focus on something particular in your life. Do it like a laser beam when you want to focus on something. So if you’ve wanted to master your triple pirouette dance for so long or get specific piano skills right now, it is your time to do it.
Anytime you want to spend thinking about your crush, it’s time to channel that energy into something productive that you want to do that will benefit you in your life.
I don’t mean to flirt with your crush. I’m saying to flirt with other new people who make you feel pleased cute, sexy, and all that stuff. It’s your opportunity to try them out and master the art. The experience of flirting for recreation can make you feel so good and super sexy. It’s a fun thing to do. This also helps you realize that plenty of fish is in the sea.
27. Improve Your Mental Energy
Do something nice for yourself that can help prove your self-esteem because right now, you deserve it. Breaking up with a crush is hard, so you deserve a little treat. That help gets you through this tough time. Breaking up with a crush is so hard that you deserve a little bit of a treat right now to boost your confidence.
Maybe you want to get a new dress, your teeth whitened, or something that can make you feel fantastic. It takes attention away from your crush but also makes you feel like a fresh face to the world and feel pretty, sexy, and like “Va Va Voom.” The more confident you are right now, the easier it will be for you to move on.
28. Take Some Time
Be careful that you do not start liking somebody else immediately. Sometimes wanting someone can take the distraction away from the crush you’re walking away from, but it’s essential to make sure that we’re not transferring our feelings from the person right onto someone else. It leads us directly into another situation of potential unrequited love.
I usually recommend taking a little bit of your time, like some time away from having a crush, to focus on yourself and not immediately displacing those feelings onto someone else. Even if you are flirting with others, getting too attached right now is not a good idea. This doesn’t solve the problem we’re trying to get through together.
29. Prepare Yourself Mentally
It is a hard thing that you’re going through in your life. Make sure that you give yourself some love right now. I believe giving up on a crush and walking away from them is a form of heartbreak. So make sure you give yourself a break. Having a crush on someone feels so good. It’s inspiring and uplifting. It can make you feel pretty, sexy, or more joyful about life.
Suppose you can go into this experience prepared for it to be not so great. You like proactively inviting some friends over and planning a bunch of activities. They will make you happy and mentally prepared for a tough couple of weeks. This experience will be much easier for you than if you didn’t have any of these strategies.
Don’t forget, guys, and it will go a lot better. Walking away from a bad crush is much better than having a bad one. You’re one step closer to a significant positive relationship.
30. Understand The Love
This is a big one. Realize that their distance is what makes the appeal so strong. Have you ever had a crush on somebody who is all over you and desperate to date you? No, You have crushes on people you are pretty sure you don’t have a chance with or who it seems there’s some big obstacle to getting with them. That’s why the crush exists and why it feels so healthy.
Because there’s a narrative in our society that we’re taught from a very young age, any kind of true love will be challenging. Look at Romeo and Juliet. They weren’t allowed to be with each other, so they wanted to get together.
They had to overcome something. They had to have a conflict. So we’re taught that any love worth it will be very difficult, which isn’t real, and so that tricks us into thinking, oh, that person seems like they’re unavailable.
31. Focus On Their Negative Aspects
Another thing that might be happening is that this crush might be a comfort to you somehow. In high school, I had a crush on this girl for years. I thought about her a lot, and it comforted me to think about it.
To think about her the same way, you might get comfort thinking about a vacation you have coming up in a few months. It was like this thing in front of me that I was like, I can get through this garbage. I’m going through it right now. If I can think about being with her one day, that’s weird.
I get it, I understand it, but you must realize that it is not a good thing to comfort yourself with to try to take yourself out of present troubles by fantasizing that you’re going to be with someone else.
Do you know what I mean? If you know this person well enough, you can focus on their negative aspects to help move on from the crush. You have to over-focus on the harmful elements to balance things out because it’s difficult when you like someone a lot to see them.
So first, look at all the bad stuff about them, what wouldn’t I like, and focus on that, hone in on it. Get good about seeing people’s flaws. What helps is when I’ve realized that learning personality typology has made me like people a lot less. Because then, as you type and try to type people, it forces you to look at their flaws. They’re not so good at what’s that irritating about them and why they are freaking out.
Why do they think these problems are real while others don’t think about them? So personality typology can help you try to type your crush, and in doing so, you might find I don’t like them anymore.
32. Pretend That Your Crush Is Gone
Just pretend they’re dead to you now. That’s an excellent way to forget them because out of sight, out of mind, you know what I’m saying? It might be more challenging if this is like, say, you go to school, the person you’re sitting next to them.
It’s a bit harder, but stay away from it with social media and all that. Or on the other hand, you can binge on this person and pay attention to them a lot. That’ll make you sick of them.
Talk to others as much as possible, and spend as much time around them. The best remedy for liking someone is to spend more time with them.
33. Find Another Crush
Surprisingly, you can get another crush because I have found that I can only have one at a time. So, if there’s one person I have a terrible crush on, the best way to get out to stop crushing on them is to find someone else, maybe someone better.
Making the comparison helps a lot because when you return to your original crush, you’re like, wow, this person isn’t very good compared to another person.
Especially if you find another crush that’s ridiculously out of the other person’s league, like a celebrity, movie star, or a supermodel, but when you do that, get into comparison-it is over this person. You’ll realize they aren’t so great. There’s better out there.
Why do I care so much about this person? I have looked back on my life at some of the people I’ve had crushes on, and I’m like, why? I was so focused on one person. It was embarrassing.
The younger you are, the less experience you have regarding human nature and knowing what people are like. So you don’t understand or see what you’re missing.
You don’t know what you’re not seeing. You don’t know what’s wrong with people because you haven’t yet learned to assemble all the pieces of someone’s personality.
34. Make a Confession With Your Crush
If you have a crush, the best advice I can give is to ask them out because either they will say yes, and then oh, great, you’ll get to go on a date with them, or they’ll say no. Then it’ll be painful, embarrassing, humiliating, but at least then, you’ll be like, oh, I don’t have a crush anymore.
I’m over this person. It might bring up something because you might say, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to ask the person out. Why not? If you have that reaction, I prefer keeping them at a distance.
That’s when they’re most attractive. Sometimes, when you start to play in your mind the scenario of asking this person out and seeing that it’s possible that you could, the person becomes less attractive.
They become more attainable, and that lack of attainability disappears. It makes you calm down and see things in a clearer light. It is the big thing that I don’t relate to anymore, but I used to be there when I was younger because having a crush for a long time is pointless.
You get it over with it. If you have a crush on someone, you either need to be like, no, it’s not going to work, move on, or Yeah, let me see if I can ask this person out. It’s one or the other. There’s no point in crushing on someone forever. It takes some courage. It’s complicated. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s much better to live in a world where you’re not embarrassed about that.
35. Think About Your Crush’s Perspective
One of the most important things I’ve learned over the years is that if you continue interacting with your crush the same way you did before you got rejected, you won’t get over it mentally. It hurdles and feels like this person doesn’t like me; it’s time to move on.
Instead, if you keep talking to them every day, joking around as if nothing happened, as if they didn’t turn you down, well, you’ll maintain that level of hope and think, maybe I can change their mind.
Maybe they weren’t sure, or they were not ready to date me yet. All bright ideas are possible, and they’re not always practical. We’re still hoping that our crush will be the one to take the action step here. Our crush will be the one that will limit their interaction with us. They’re going to talk to us. Yes, they will realize that we have feelings for them, and they will change their behavior based on that.
But the truth is the change has to come from us. Think about it from your crush’s perspective. Before they found out that you liked them, things were every day.
36. Don’t Make Friendship
For your crush, they may want things to go right back to how they were before you’ve done them. But now that they are different, you must stop reading so much into their cues. To stop looking at every action, they take every word. They say everything they do is a sign that they may be interested in you.
This is a common mistake that many people who are hurt make. I called it “The Friend Zone Loop.” What it is that you convince yourself that if you keep flirting, talking to, or trying to get to know your crush better, even after they’ve rejected you, you’re going to change their mind, so you look for these little cues that they give you. Maybe they smiled at you, and perhaps they said hello. Maybe they texted you out of the blue.
Those are signs that you’re still in the game in your mind, so you continuously try for them. The major problem here is that when you finally realize that this isn’t working out for me, this person doesn’t like me back, boom, that’s when the text message pops up with them saying, “Hey, how’s it going” and now you feel like you’re back in the game.
I don’t think people are voluntarily choosing to do this. It’s because they’re not taking the action steps they need to break out of this process to change things to overcome those hurt feelings.
37. Talk About Your Feelings With Crush
A significant part of that getting-over process is talking about your feelings but not making your crush the center of those conversations. This is something a lot of people do.
When they like someone, they talk to their friends about them, not so much about how they can move on and win it but how they don’t understand why their crush texted them. Or what happened when their crush looked at them, or when’s the next time they can have a conversation with them?
You become so focused on making things work rather than seeing things for what they are. Maybe the advice you’re getting in your life is split.
Some of your friends tell you you should still go for it despite getting rejected because why would they continue talking to you if they didn’t like you, while your other friends might be telling you it’s not worth your time, it’s time to move on. Still, those tend to be the friends we ignore because they don’t align with what we want.
If your crush’s feelings are frequently the focus of your conversation with your friends, ask yourself this simple question. When I talk to them about it, am I focusing on proactive solutions to help me move forward or understand my crush’s confusing behaviors and actions?
If it’s the first one, that’s good. It means you’re on the road to recovery. You’re looking for ways out of it. But if it’s the second one, you’re stuck in this vicious loop, the friend zone loop, and you won’t get out of it until you can move on.
38. Be Hopeful
The next thing you should do to overtake your crush is to remember that it doesn’t happen overnight. Everything takes time for feelings; good emotions and bad feelings are like some things you can’t control. The best way to escape something is only by giving it time.
So when you’re trying hard to like something regardless of what it is in life, it consumes your mind, and you want it to happen now to be successful. You want to feel better now; unfortunately, life doesn’t always work that way.
It’s important to remember you will have some days that feel better than others. It will take some time to move on from someone, which can be frustrating, but remembering that may allow you not to go as crazy. You’ll feel a little bit better about it.
39. Discuss It With Your Friends Or Family
Talk about your feelings with someone you trust or are close with. I feel like I use this one a lot. I’m not good about bundling up my feelings. If something’s on my mind or bothering me, I have to talk to someone, or it only eats me alive.
So I’ll like going to my mom and probably cry. Then she’ll like to make me feel better, and getting it off my chest makes me feel better.
So if you’re someone like me and you need someone to talk to, like find someone you trust, a friend, a family member, whoever. I can’t stop thinking about so-and-so, and it’s not fair. I don’t know what to do. In the end, you’re going to feel a little bit better. So don’t be afraid to share how you’re feeling.
40. Try Not To Obsess
Try not to obsess over the person, no matter your feelings, no matter how much you think you’re in love with someone. You have to remember that they’re another person. Many great people are out there, and sometimes they are like love-drunk mine. We feel like no one is better than this specific person, and there’s no way you’ll ever move on.
It does feel that way, and I’ve been there. Sometimes, if you look at it more objectively or try to stop obsessing over someone and realize that they may not be as great as they are in your mind, they could be awesome, no offense to the person.
But my point is that if you try to avoid obsessing over someone so much, that will help you realize that many cool people are out there. So you don’t have only to be stuck up on this one person because they’re not worth obsessing over.
Bonus Tip – Hang Out With Friends
Hanging out with friends is different than hanging out with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you don’t get as many highs and lows. But that’s the thing friends are less likely to have drama and hurt feelings while you can still fight.
You got to distract yourself, and hanging out with your friends is a great way to do that. I can’t believe I’m about to say this one guy. It’s a way for people to try and meet other people in a very convenient way. That’s a great way to move on from someone. Don’t trap yourself in your house.
Liking someone doesn’t have to be weird. That’s something else that used to be very real to me, like, if you want someone, that’s weird. It’s like, hey, you feel like going out?
It’s not a big deal. Stop thinking of it as being so weird. Don’t hold onto crushes for a while. I don’t get it. I’ve talked to people who spoke about how they still reminisce about crushes they had for years, and I’m like, why? That is cringing-worthy; stop it. It makes me like I have this bodily reaction when people talk about that stuff.
It’s not romantic to have crushed on someone for a while and never asked them out. Also, if they reject you in the end, it’s like, who cares? Okay, get over it. It’s not a big deal.
There are a lot of people out there. I’m kicking some people’s butts here, and I might seem harsh. But it’s because I’m reacting against my younger self who thought this stuff was genuine, who was so scared of rejection and so scared to expose that I liked someone and finish it; there’s no point. Don’t do it. There are a couple of more points here.
I hope you found this article helpful, and if you still have questions or want to talk, I find the comments on these articles. It is always a fantastic place to get additional support and share your story. So don’t feel afraid to do that. Please share this article with your friends so that they can move on from their crushes and develop themselves.
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