How to get over a crush? Hello everybody. What’s up? I hope you’re all having a fantastic week. How do you move on from a crush? Is it possible to break up with someone in your mind even if you didn’t have a full-fledge relationship? Is it possible to walk away from that happy feeling every single time you think of that person or you every time you see them?
Yes, it is possible. I think there’s mainly meaning if this was first crush ever, and now you have to move on. It hurts so much. It is so hard to pick up everything, and walk away, and leave your crush behind. It’s so hard.
In this helpful article, I’m giving you detailed steps to move on from your crush, whether you have been rejected. Or you realize that things just aren’t going to work out with them, or even if you know that they’re a jerk. They just don’t deserve for you to have a crush on them anymore.
Facts About Having A Crush On Someone
We need to determine whether or not this is a crush. So question number one for you to ask yourself do you know this person. Do you know enough about them to have a crush on them genuinely? Have you just like seen them once or twice, and you’re like okay?
They’re cute. No, that would be what I call the star games! If you didn’t want to start gazes now, we break it down for you. A stargaze is whenever you’ve watched the celebrities and admired their beauty. But you don’t talk to stars, and you don’t go on dates with stars. The stars don’t know you. I call that a star gaze whenever you don’t know them and you just kind of watch them and you like them.
They’re creating a crush when you have just fallen for this person, and you just want them to like you back. We’re always talking about getting into new relationships and flirting. It is just as important as a life skill to know how to overcome someone and move on, whether that’s a relationship or a past crush. Every single one of us gets rejected.
Rejection is one topic that we don’t like to think about or talk about because it brings up bad feelings. It brings up bad memories and bad moments in our lives. It brings up a time where we felt inadequate, unloved, and uncared for. You know what I’m talking about, you have these intense feelings for someone. You just want to get to know them better and talk to them.
So when you finally work up the courage to do so, it doesn’t go anywhere, but that doesn’t mean your feelings go away. You’re just still sitting with them, not sure what to do with them because that person doesn’t like you back.
It’s completely normal to stay in that hurt once we get rejected. In a way, it’s a bit comforting to know that we feel bad for ourselves. We’re taking care of ourselves by doing that, and the idea of moving on and trying something new and going after new people is scary and foreign and weird to us.
It’s just not a comfortable thing to do. Think about it, how much of your life are you going to dedicate to chasing this one person you know doesn’t like you back? When you should be out there pursuing other people, getting to know others, meeting with them, interacting with them, seeing who you click with.
Trust me on this, taking that step back will give you that much more profound sense of clarity that you’re longing for. Now, if you want to learn more about relationships and interactions, you should check out my book Embracing The Awkward, where I go more in-depth on how to kind of master those connections in your life.
40 Practical Ways To Get Over A Crush
How to move on from a crush? Let me frame this whole thing by saying when you’re younger, and crushes seem very serious and very real. Let me shatter your world a bit and let you know that crushes are neither serious, nor are they even real. It seems very real, looks very serious, not at all, and you’re going to realize that over time.
I look back at myself in high school and college when crushes were so real to me, and I just find it cringe-worthy now. I can’t put myself back in that mindset and make sense of it anymore because yeah, sure, I still get crushes but do they mean much? No. It doesn’t rule my life the way it used to. So how did I get past it, you might be wondering.
I’m just going to talk about a few things that I’ve personally done in the past to get over a crush. These are going to be harsh tips. If you’re not ready to forget someone yet, you’re still clinging to something wasn’t that you should remember; what are you clinging to.
I believe that many times, many people around us will tell us because they see our situation, and they’re like what they are you clinging on to like just a bad situation. They’re treating you poorly, or this is not going anywhere this bad for you.
They’re going to tell you that, but if you don’t feel personally ready to say goodbye to someone, that’s fine. That’s okay; take your time, but you have to be realistic and ask yourself if this hurts me. It’s something that you think is great in that you want to keep it. If it’s hurting you at the moment, just realize that it just is going to be better for you.
1. Don’t Smash Your Feelings
Don’t try to squash your feelings. It can be tempting to put on a brave face and make everybody think that you’re a happy self. The truth is you’re probably going to be feeling a little bit glum at first even if you didn’t date this person. You wouldn’t even wonder why am I crying over someone who didn’t even take me in the first place. But your feelings are justified.
It can be just as devastating losing a crush as losing an actual boyfriend or a girlfriend. So, feel your feelings. Don’t be afraid to talk to a friend, and if you don’t want to talk to your friends about it, write in the journal. Do anything to get it out and feel what you are feeling. You can easily do this. I know you can.
2. Create A Fabulous Look
Another better way of moving on is to remind yourself that you are fabulous by creating a brand-new look for yourself. The idea of this is to help you rock your inner bombshell as opposed to doing this to trying to make someone else jealous. Feeling confident and boosting your spirits is like a huge part of moving on and feeling good about yourself.
Look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself how awesome and sexy you are. I just want to tell you something you might not have a girlfriend. Maybe you haven’t found love. You’re so sexy. Just remember that and move on from your crush.
You have to remember that you’re hot and that you deserve to be wanted. If someone doesn’t want you back the way you want them, that’s bull crap and missing out. And there’s someone else that’s going to be dying to get your attention. So you know, sometimes just gotta get a little ego boost. It’s good for the soul, mind, and spirits.
3. Reward Yourself
You may not want to do this one. But I promise you that you’re going to feel so much better afterward. It’s to do things by yourself. Doing things by yourself helps you develop confidence. It also enables you to explore your interests and things that you like that maybe your crush or your ex didn’t even like.
For example, if you’re a vegan and love exploring new vegan restaurants, check out some on your own. It can feel personally rewarding for you. It also gets you around other people who share your interests, and you never know who you’re going to meet. You might be in a situation where you think that nobody out there could fall for again in the same way you fell for this person.
4. Realize The Reality
It is precisely to help you with that, and it’s a little weird too. But it’s to be a people watcher. Going out and doing things like sitting on a bench in a park and watching the people go by or opening your eyes when you’re riding the subway and looking at the people around you.
Consciously doing this reminds you that there are so many people in this world who exist right now. You might feel like this loss is the only person in the world who matters, but it’s not going to feel like that forever. The sooner you realize how many other people there are in this world living their lives, the sooner you’re going to get to that place nice.
5. Focus On Your Self-improvement
Now, this is different than the self-love we talked about earlier. It is improving a skill or a part of yourself. Things like working out, networking, starting up a new hobby, all of these things improve a part of your skills or yourself and can help you feel more confident and ready to take on the world. You are already beautiful and perfect the way you are.
We already know that, but just feeling like you’re bettering yourself and making yourself no more or be able to do more. It puts you in a good emotional state. It makes you feel good and even distracts you a little bit from what you might be going through right now.
If you’re going through a heartbreak right now, think about what your best friend would say to you, you’re beautiful, you’re talented, you’re smart, you’re going to be okay. Your friends know you well enough to know that you’ll get through this, and I know you’ll get through it too.
6. Write A-List
Write a list of the things that you want in your future husband or your future wife. Once you’ve listed all those qualities, I want you to see which ones your crush is missing. Because there’s going to be some things that I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t, or she doesn’t have.
That’ll help you get in the process of thinking, ‘there’s someone better for me out there’ You meet some for the first time, or you are boyfriend and girlfriend with someone or something along that line, realize that they are on their best behavior. And if they’re on their best behavior and if they’re still not kind to you or they’re still not doing things that you’re so happy about, that’s their best behavior.
Think about if you’re married to that person or you’re dating long-term. That’s not going to be something that you’re going to want in your life. You want happiness and productivity and things that are going to grow you as a person.
7. Express Your Pain
It’s an unusual way that I’m going to say is to cry, to let yourself break. But the reason I say that is for a couple of reasons. Number one, When you cry, it releases endorphins, and that is good.
Second, when you are crying, you let this go, and you break. You’re finally not postponing this pain. Because when you hold on to everything, you don’t let go. You’re delaying all this pain, and you’re putting yourself on this shelf.
You’re finding a fake rest and fake peace. Because you’re going to break eventually, and it’s going to be even more challenging. You’re pushing so much off, and you get depressed or sad or lonely, or you have these hollowed-out relationships.
Those are all signs of you pushing off brokenness and pushing off the pain. In my life, I learned that in my brokenness and my problem is the times that you can heal when you’re broken. That’s a form of healing, and so that’s how you begin to heal yourself. You have to do it. You have to let yourself go!
8. Let Your Crush Go
I’m a dreamer. Being a human, I know a lot of times we like to daydream. Stop making up fantasies about you and this person together. I’ve also learned in my life that you can’t change people no matter how much you want to change them. No matter how much you know that person or your opinion is right, you can’t change them.
You can’t make somebody change. So, let him/her go. You have people say, ‘if you love something, let it go. If it’s meant to be, it’ll come back to you. If you think about it, it can’t go back to you. If you haven’t let it go, you need to let it go. It can’t come back and work out in the end if you don’t let it go initially. To begin with, that’s helped me in my mental process.
9. Do Something New
You can talk to a friend when I talk to a friend that works for me sometimes. I realized that two of these things help me. Number one is to do some creative expression to release all those emotions and release those feelings.
For example, I wrote down our music dance. You can do writing poetry. I make music. I don’t even show some of the songs that I write. It’s just for me to put my words and feelings and creativeness into something to feel better. It is my little piece of someone understanding you the way I know myself. I am there for myself.
My second thing under the topic of doing something is simply realized that you’re not alone. You’re not the only one going through this thing in life. Some so many people want to get over their crush. Some people are going through breakups and brokenness, and it may even have nothing to do with a guy or a girl. People are going through stuff; we all are. That is something that helps me a lot of times.
I realize I don’t know how to figure myself out or how to feel okay. So what I do is I go, and I stop being selfish. You’re focusing on myself and let me talk to my other friend. I thought she’s gone through something, and you’ll begin to realize that you help other people when you go. You’ll start to heal. Why not help others out of that working spot? I know it doesn’t sound like it would make sense. It would work.
10. Be Positive
You need to realize that there are a lot of things in life and the world. Magazines and the TV, they’re telling you all these things. But that doesn’t mean it’s true. It’d be like me telling you that this shirt is white, and you believe it just because I told you so.
You need to guard your heart and trust that you are amazing. You deserve it. You are awesome. Think about that and begin to develop yourself as a person. Because whoever you are, the type of person you are is the type of person you’ll attract.
11. Take Your Crush As Fun
It sounds so heart wrenching and challenging and critical. But no! A scientific study showed that when people were instructed to think evil thoughts about their ex and then saw photos of them later, their feelings were less intense. Honestly, he/she was a terrible kisser.
He/She was the worst dresser. None of his clothes matched. The guy was never at school. You might think that your heart doesn’t listen to instructions from your brain. But it does! For example, if you’re artistic at all, you can draw a funny picture of your crush, looking at their worst. It is almost guaranteed to make you feel better.
12. Study About Brain & Make Good Habit
It is going to be surprising is to boost your mood with serotonin. We’re getting a little bit deeper into psychology and brain chemistry. What is serotonin? It is a chemical in your body that sends signals between your nerves. It is associated with a lot of different functions. But the one that we’re concerned with right now is your mood. When you get a burst of serotonin, you feel terrific.
If you don’t get enough, you feel depressed, and there are two ways to increase your serotonin right now. Why not do that? The first way is eating certain foods that give you a rush of serotonin, and the second way is getting in the Sun. That is a real sentence I’m about to say. If you want to move on from your crush or your ex more quickly, why not grab a bunch of your friends and do a fabulous picnic where you bring many superfoods and get in the Sun.
13. Unfollow Your Crush From Social Media
If you want to stop liking someone fast, you must unfollow them on all of their social media. No excuses! You have to do this. Some of you are going to say I’m so strong. I can follow them, and I will never check. No! I don’t believe you. It is so hard! The hardest thing I’m ever going to have to do! If you still like someone, you’re going to be tempted to check. You need to get rid of that temptation for yourself.
Knowing that you could check it anytime is holding you back from moving on. Unfollow them on every platform. It might be embarrassing that they might notice, but this is going to help you move on. That’s where my best interest is.
After you have unfollowed your crush on all of the platforms, make sure to follow three to five new accounts about things that make you smile. Things that make you happy. It could be funny memes. It could be animals. It could be babies. It could be bloggers. Whatever makes you happy.
14. Do Meditation
The next step is one of my favorite ways to jump someone. The whole world knows that. Most people don’t realize that exercise increases serotonin in the same way as getting outside and eating foods. Whether you’re going dancing with your friends and having a super fun night out, and you’re getting moving.
Go on for a walk, put your headphones in, and go on a nice little meditation walk. It is a positive vibe for your body, and it can put you in a positive. Leave that crush and sadness. The other massive advantage of moving your body is that you can get out there and meet new people. Usually, good relationships and good bonds help you set aside your ex or your crush mentally.
15. Make New Memories
You need to go and make new memories in all of the places where you used to see yourself with your crush or your ex. I know this sounds complicated and time-consuming. It works. It is going to trick your brain. Because every time you go into those places, inevitably you’re going to be reminded of the previous times that you had interactions about it, where he/she looked at me for the first time.
And he/she used to stand in front of the red lockers all the time. When you make new memories in all of these places, you’re establishing new neural pathways. You’re going to remember not only your ex or your crush, but also you’re going to have all these lovely new memories in those places.
Take control, empower yourself, and create new things. That’s going to help you move on mentally. One of the things that suck when we’re trying to get over a person is that our mind continues going on this like a feedback loop of thoughts about them. You’re thinking about things, and you remember all the fun times you had. You’re wondering where you went wrong. It’s going like you’re not getting anywhere with the thoughts, and they’re there all the time.
16. Find Out The Error
One way to stop doing this is to write down everything going on in here and put it into a journal on a piece of paper. Because that solidifies the thought, it stops you from thinking about it.
When you’re writing these thoughts down in a journal, you want to summarize what went wrong. Why didn’t your crush or your ex become the love of your life? Even get down to their personality traits. Things you loved seeing. Something that you didn’t like. Be as detailed as you can and get it all out.
17. Disconnect Your Crush From All Network
We’re going to think that I care too much. They’re toxic about social media, especially Snapchat, Instagram Stories, and stuff like that; you’re regularly updated about what someone is doing with their lives. It’s very toxic if you’re trying to forget someone. It’s just a constant reminder. It is not right, so it’s slightly better for you mentally to unfollow them, at least on social media types.
You might want to keep them on like Facebook or something where you’re not updated continuously about their day. But 24/7 updates on someone you’re trying to stop thinking or that is not good for your psyche. If you’re linked to them in any way, maybe like games or whatever archive, the chats remove the chats and chat history. It ends up feeling like you don’t have a history with them anymore because it’s just stored history.
You’re not going to find them anywhere anymore throughout your phone. So take their number out of your phone, take them out, and then it has nothing to do with caring a lot. I think people are scared that it’s a clinical process, so they care too much. But it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with getting them out of your life because of their baggage, and you don’t need bags.
18. Everybody Has Crush In Life
If you’re sad about it, feel sorry about it. That’s okay and if you want to rebound about it, look for other people to get attention. In the end, getting over someone is a lot like losing someone, and the process of going over that is a lovely great. Because you’re having to come to terms with that person not being in your life anymore, even though it’s your toys, it still feels that way, so allow yourself at that period.
It’s okay to have a few conversations about it with your friends. I think in general, when it comes to getting over a crush, it’s putting it away. Stop thinking about it. It has to be low on your plan. It shouldn’t be on your list anymore. So stop talking about them to your friends.
19. Avoid Negative Conversation
Do not talk about them in negative ways. Don’t be toxic about them because of negative vibes even though they’re not about you, but there was someone else and reflected onto you. I think that’s the prettiest people. It has a reflection on everything, and this might sound crazy.
I don’t have anything that supports what I’m saying, but I think that negative people are ugly people. It reflects, and it flows through your entire body. And even just like people who talk about other people even though they deserve it. When you speak about other people, it’s ugly for your soul, and it’s just ugly for your life. It’s not going to help you in any way and going to make you feel more pain.
If you have something to say about them, just say- We don’t live anymore, it hurts me too much. I’m not mad, and I don’t want to say bad things about them. They don’t deserve that either, but it’s just better for me. I’m happier now that’s fine, that’s enough.
20. Make A Distance
I always recommend people that they should take is to remove them from the social connection or just mute their posts. The more you look at their pages, the more you see the things they post, the more you’re going to get invested in their lives and continue thinking about them. I know there’s a real fear of missing out if you unfollow them because what if they break up with that person and you’re not there to catch them and go out with them.
Or, what if they are having a bad day and you’re not there to help them through it. The fact is, you’re always putting yourself in a scenario where you can jump in, and you can be a part of their life. Still, if they’re with someone else, for now, the best thing for you to do is to detach yourself, to focus on your growth and your development, and even to talk to other people.
Because the more you obsess over them, the more you continuously look to their feed, like their pictures, comment on them, and interact with them, the harder it’s going to be for you to overcome them.
I really wouldn’t recommend blocking them because blocking might lead to them asking you questions like, “Why am I blocked?” which involves you again in their lives, which you are not trying to do here.
21. Make Outline Of Your Hobbies & Plays
Outline your hobbies and your interests and to pursue them. Often, people stay obsessed with their crush because that’s the only thing in their lives. But if you have items, you enjoy doing things, and you can pursue them. I think that’s going to help, take the focus and attention from your crush. And put it on things that are better for yourself.
Look, even if you tell yourself you’re going to read a hundred books and play a thousand different sports. You’re still going to have intrusive thoughts about your crush pop in from time to time. But by having a place to redirect them to, telling yourself, “Wow, I’m thinking about them again. Let me go and play a sport.
Hey, let me read a book. Let me do something else. You’re able to kind of shift your focus and shift your attention. It’s a matter of training yourself to rewire your activity every single time those thoughts pop up. Because when they do, it might start bringing you down and making you think that they’re the only person for you.
22. Create A Community
I know you may not currently like anyone else. The whole purpose of this is to meet new people, make new friends, get to know people, and see how you can develop new crushes on them. Be honest here, have you ever told yourself that the person that you currently like is perfect?
Answer in the poll right there. But, a lot of times, we do this simply because we don’t know as many people in comparison to them. So by putting yourself out there and meeting new people, you’re able to kind of compare and contrast different people. Now, you might still tell yourself that this crush is always better than everyone else. The fact remains that you expand your options and potential for meeting someone new by meeting new people.
Plus, it allows you also to shift your focus and attention from that crush again. And you’re going to start to look at that crush differently as you meet new people. You will begin to say things like, “Well, this other person is a lot funnier than my crush.
This other person is a lot more outgoing wow. These other people have these other traits that my crush doesn’t rank number one on.” But what do you do in situations where you do go back to interacting with your crush?
Maybe it’s against your own choices.
23. Be Calm
Be calm and casual every single time you interact with them. Now, if the two of you were friends before, it’s going to be hard just to walk away and pretend like that friendship never happened. There will be moments where you will interact with them.
So in those moments, try not to dig too deep into their story and what’s going on with them. The more you learn, the more those thoughts are going to stay rested in your mind.
Maybe they’re going to mention something about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They may even mention something about being happy or being sad, anything that they say. It’s going to get plugged into your mind, and you’re going to have to recode it all over again.
In those situations, just try to keep the conversation short if you can. Try not to reveal too much about what’s going on in your life and how you’re pursuing other people.
So you sound like your boasting because that might lead to them talking about their experience. And that’s the last thing you want to learn too much about. So try to keep it short and very simple. Have necessary conversations with them, and if you can, walk away and let them go.
24. Set Up Strong Boundaries
It is one that’s going to make or break your obsession with your crush. And that’s to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Often, people want to fall into friendships with their crush, thinking if I’m close to them, if I’m in their lives, then when they break up, they’re going to choose me next. But what ends up happening is you end up getting friend-zoned.
The closer you become to that person as their friend, the harder it’s going to be for them to break you out of that role in their mind. It will be harder for them to transition into looking at you like someone to date if you’re such a close friend potentially. They don’t want to lose that friendship bond in the potential that you guys can date, and it might not work out.
That’s why separating yourself from them and doing your own thing is vital. Because as you get older and as time moves on, when you do reconnect with them later in the future, they’re going to see you as a different person. A person that’s grown and mature. A person who knows what they want, and that’s a potential person they may be interested in, whereas the original person they knew back then wasn’t.
Ultimately, what this all boils down to is that if your crush is dating someone and want to clear your obsession with them, you’re going to need to let them go. The fact is, they’re not ready to go out with you, and you’re not in a place where you’re able to kind of let them go if you need to.
You never want to be so obsessed with a person that you just can’t stop thinking about them, and you’re directing your life in a way that doesn’t involve them. You want to have control of yourself. And the first step here is to work on your obsession.
25. Your Crush Is A Common Person
Make a list of all the things that you don’t like about them. This might seem kind of mean and cruel, but it’s not. It is to help you realize that you and your crush may not have been that compatible after all and that everyone is human.
If you put your crush up on a pedestal, they’re going to seem like an angel or with the perfect person that would have been so perfect in a relationship. Still, realistically everyone is human, and nobody lives up to that excellent standard. Write a comprehensive list of things about your crush that can help take away that perfect status of them in your mind.
Some of you are going to say, “But there’s like nothing bad about my crush and all. They’re so perfect.” I know you’re lying. There is something not so great about everyone.
So now is your chance to let all those things about your crush out. We know that you’ve been putting them on a pedestal, and they’re not so perfect after all. So now is your chance to let those feelings out. Plus, all of the things that are not so great about them. It helps to humanize your crush and help you stop obsessing over them. They’re not perfect. Everybody has faults.
26. Be Productive
Focus on something particular in your life. I always say when you want to focus on something, do it like a laser beam. So if you’ve wanted to master your triple pirouette dance for so long, or like get specific skills on the piano just right, now is your time to do it.
Anytime you want to spend thinking about your crush, it’s time to channel that energy into something productive that you want to do – that’s going to benefit you in your life.
I don’t mean to flirt with your crush. I’m saying to flirts with other new people that make you feel pleased cute, sexy, and all that stuff. It’s your opportunity to try them out and master the art. The experience of flirting for recreation can make you feel so good and super sexy. It’s just a fun thing to do. This also helps you realize that there is plenty of fish in the sea out there.
27. Improve Your Mental Energy
Do something nice for yourself that can help prove your self-esteem because right now, you deserve it. Breaking up with a crush is hard, so you deserve a little bit of a treat right now. That kind of help gets you through this tough time. Breaking up with a crush is so hard that you deserve a little bit of a treat right now to boost your confidence.
Maybe you want to get a new dress, or your teeth whitened, or just something for you that can make you feel fantastic. It takes attention away from your crush, but also makes you feel like way more fresh face to the world, and feel pretty, sexy, and like “Va Va Voom.” The more confident you are right now, the easier it’s going to be for you to move on.
28. Take Some Time
Be careful that you do not start liking somebody else immediately. Sometimes wanting someone can take the distraction away from the crush you’re walking away from, but it’s essential to make sure that we’re not just transferring our feelings from the person right on to someone else. It leads us directly into another situation of potential unrequited love.
I usually recommend taking a little bit of your time, like some time away from having a crush, to focus on yourself and not just immediately displacing those feelings onto someone else. Even if you are flirting with other people, it’s not a good idea to get too attached right now. This doesn’t solve the problem that we’re trying to
get through together right now.
29. Prepare Yourself Mentally
It is a hard thing that you’re going through in your life. Make sure that you give yourself some love right now. In my opinion, giving up on a crush and walking away from them is a form of heartbreak. So make sure you give yourself a break. Having a crush on someone feels so good. It’s inspiring and uplifting. It can make you feel pretty, sexy, or just more joyful and happier about life in general.
The let down of actually letting all those happy feelings go super. Suppose you can go into this experience prepared for it to be not so great. And you like proactively invite some friends over and plan a bunch of activities. They’re going to make you happy, and just like mentally, be prepared for a tough couple of weeks. This experience will be a lot easier for you than if you didn’t have any of these strategies at all.
Don’t forget, guys, and it’s going to go a lot better. Walking away from a bad crush is a lot better than having a bad crush. You’re one step closer to a significant positive relationship.
30. Understand The Love
This is a big one. Realize that their distance is what makes the appeal so strong. Have you ever had a crush on somebody who is all over you and desperate to date you? No, You have crushes on people who you are pretty sure you don’t have a chance with or who it seems like there’s some big obstacle to get with them. And that’s why the crush exists and why it feels so healthy.
Because there’s a narrative in our society that we’re taught from a very young age that any kind of true love will be challenging to get at look at freaking Romeo and Juliet. Yeah, they weren’t allowed to be with each other that’s why they wanted to get together.
They had to overcome something. They had to have a conflict. So we’re taught that any love that’s worth it is going to be very difficult, which isn’t real and so that tricks into thinking, oh, that person seems like they’re unavailable.
31. Focus On Their Negative Aspects
Another thing that might be happening is this crush might be a comfort to you in some way to think about. When I was in high school, I had this crush on this girl for years. I just thought about her a lot, and it just brought me comfort to think about it.
To think about her the same way you might get comfort thinking about a vacation you have coming up in a few months. It was like this thing in front of me that I was like I can get through this garbage. I’m going through right now. If I can just think about one day maybe being with her, and that’s weird.
I get it, I understand it, but you must realize that is not a good thing to comfort yourself with to try to take yourself out of present troubles by fantasizing that you’re going to be with someone else.
Do you know what I mean? If you know this person well enough, what you can do to help move on from the crush is to focus on their negative aspects. You have to over-focus on the harmful elements to balance things out because it’s difficult when you like someone a lot to see them.
So first, just look at what’s all the bad stuff about them, what wouldn’t I like, and just focus on that, hone in on it. Get good about seeing people’s flaws. What helps when I’ve realized that’s made me like people a lot less is learning personality typology. Because then, as you type people, as you try to type people, it forces you to look at their flaws. They’re not so good at and what’s that irritating about them, and why they are freaking out about this thing.
Why do they think these problems are so real while these other people don’t think about that? So personality typology can help try to type your crush, and in doing so, you might find I don’t like them anymore.
32. Pretend That Your Crush Is Gone
Just pretend they’re dead to you now. That’s an excellent way to forget them because out of sight, out of mind, you know what I’m saying? It might be more challenging if this is like, say you go to school, the person you’re sitting next to them.
It’s a bit harder, but with social media and all that, just stay away from it. Or on the other hand, you can binge on this person and pay attention to them a lot. And that’ll make you sick of them.
Talk to others as much as you can, spend as much time around them. The best remedy for liking someone is to just spend more time with them.
33. Find Another Crush
Surprisingly, you can get another crush because I have found that I can only have one at a time. And so, if there’s one person that I have a terrible crush on, the best way to get out to stop crushing on them is to find someone else, maybe someone better.
Doing the comparison thing helps a lot because when you go back to your original crush, you’re like, wow, this person isn’t very good compared to this other person.
Especially if you find another crush that’s ridiculously out of the other person’s league like a celebrity, like a movie star, or a supermodel, but when you do that, just get into comparison-it is over this person. You’ll realize they aren’t so great. There’s better out there.
Why do I care so much about this person? I have looked back on my life at some of the people I’ve had crushes on, and I’m like, why? I was so focused on one person, it’s embarrassing.
The younger you are, the less experience you have when it comes to human nature and knowing what people are like. And so you don’t understand, you just don’t see what you’re missing.
You don’t know what you’re not seeing. You don’t know what’s wrong with people because you haven’t quite learned yet to put together all the pieces of someone’s personality.
34. Make Confession With Your Crush
The best advice I can give if you have a crush is to ask them out because either they will say yes and then oh, great, you’ll get to go on a date with them, or they’ll say no. And then it’ll be yeah, painful, embarrassing, humiliating, but at least at that point, you’ll be like, oh, I don’t have a crush anymore.
I’m over this person. It might bring up something because you might be like, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to ask the person out. Why not? Maybe if you have that reaction, it’s because I prefer just keeping them at a distance.
That’s when they’re most attractive. Sometimes when you start to play in your mind, oh, the scenario of asking this person out and seeing that it’s possible that you could, the person becomes way less attractive.
They become more attainable, and that whole element of lack of attainability goes out the window. It makes you calm down a bit and see things in a more clear light. It is the big thing that I don’t relate to anymore, but I used to be there when I was younger because having a crush for a long time is pointless.
You just get it over with it. If you have a crush on someone, you either need to be like, no, it’s not going to work, move on, or yeah, let me see if I can ask this person out. It’s one or the other. There’s no point in just crushing on someone forever. It takes some courage. I know it’s complicated. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s much better to just live in a world where you’re not embarrassed about that.
35. Think About Your Crush’s Perspective
One of the most important things I’ve learned over the years is that if you continue interacting with your crush the same way you did before you got rejected, you’re not going to get over mentally. It hurdles and feels like hey, this person doesn’t like me; it’s time to move on.
Instead, if you keep talking to them every single day, joking around as if nothing happened, as if they didn’t turn you down, well, then you’re going to maintain that level of hope and think maybe I can change their mind.
Maybe they just weren’t sure, or perhaps they’re just not ready to date me yet. All bright ideas, and while they are possible, they’re not always practical. We’re just still kind of hoping that our crush will be the one to take the action step here. Our crush will be the one that’s going to limit their interaction with us. They’re going to talk to us, lesThey’re’re going to realize that we have feelings for them, and they’re going to kind of change their behavior based on that.
But the truth of the matter is the change has to come from us. Think about it from your crush’s perspective. Before they found out that you liked them, things were every day.
36. Don’t Make Friendship
For your crush, they may want things to go right back to how they were before you’ve done them. But now that they are different, you need to stop reading so much into their cues. To stop looking at every action, they take every word. They say everything they do is a sign that they may be interested in you.
This is a common mistake that a lot of people who are hurt make. I called it “The Friend Zone Loop.” What it is is that you convince yourself that if you keep flirting, talking to, or just trying to get to know your crush better, even after they’ve rejected you, eventually you’re going to change their mind, so you look for these little cues that they give you. Maybe they smiled at you, and perhaps they said hello, maybe they texted you out of the blue.
Those are signs that you’re still in the game in your mind, so you continuously try for them. And the major problem here is that when you finally realize that this just isn’t working out for me, this person doesn’t like me back boom, that’s when the text message pops up with them saying, “Hey, how’s it going” and now you feel like you’re back in the game.
And I don’t think people are voluntarily choosing to do this. I think it’s because they’re not taking the action steps they need to break out of this process to change things to overcome those hurt feelings.
37. Talk About Your Feelings With Crush
A significant part of that getting over process is talking about your feelings but not making your crush the center of those conversations. This is something a lot of people do.
When they like someone, they’re always talking to their friends about them, not so much about how they can move on and win it but how they just didn’t understand why their crush texted them. Or what happened when their crush looked at them or when’s the next time they can have a conversation with them.
You become so focused on trying to make things work rather than seeing things for what they are. And maybe the advice you’re getting in your life is kind of split.
Some of your friends tell you you should still go for it despite getting rejected because why would they continue talking to you if they didn’t like you while your other friends might be telling you it’s not worth your time, it’s time to move on. Still, those tend to be the friends we ignore because they don’t align with what we want.
If your crush’s feelings are frequently the focus of your conversation with your friends, ask yourself this simple question. When I talk to them about it, am I focusing on proactive solutions that can help me move forward or focus on understanding confusing behaviors and actions that my crush takes?
If it’s the first one, that’s good. It means you’re on the road to recovery. You’re looking for ways out of it. But if it’s the second one, that means that you’re stuck in this vicious loop, the friend zone loop, and you’re not going to get out of it until you’re able to move on.
38. Be Hopeful
The next thing you should do to try to overtake your crush is to remember that it doesn’t happen overnight. When it comes to feelings, I feel like everything takes time; good emotions, bad feelings like some things you just can’t control. And the best way to escape something is only by giving it time.
So when you’re trying hard to like do something regardless of what it is in life, it consumes your mind, and you want it to happen now you want to be successful. You want to feel better now, and unfortunately, life doesn’t always work that way.
I think it’s important to remember you’re going to have some days that feel better than others. It’s going to take some time before you can really like move on from someone, and that can be frustrating, but if you remember that, maybe it will just allow you to kind of, you know, not go as crazy. And you’ll feel a little bit better about it.
39. Discuss It With Your Friends Or Family
Talk about your feelings with someone that you trust or someone that you’re close with. I feel like I use this one a lot. I’m not good about bundling up my feelings. If something’s on my mind or something’s bothering me, I have to just talk to someone, or it only eats me alive.
So I’ll tend to like go to my mom and just kind of like vent and then probably cry or something. And then she’ll like to make me feel better, and it just makes me feel better to get it off my chest.
So if you’re someone like me and you just need someone to talk to like find someone you trust, a friend, a family member, whoever. I can’t stop thinking about so-and-so, and it’s not fair. I don’t know what to do. I believe in the end you’re going to feel a little bit better. So don’t be afraid to share how you’re feeling.
40. Try Not To Obsess
Try not to obsess over the person no matter your feelings, no matter how much you think you’re in love with someone. You have to remember that they’re just another person. And there are tons of great people out there and sometimes are like love-drunk mine. We just feel like there is no one better than this specific person, and there’s no way you’re ever going to move on.
It does feel that way, and I’ve been there. Sometimes, if you look at it more objectively or try to stop obsessing over someone and realize that they may not be as great as they are in your mind, I think they could be awesome, no offense to the person.
But my point is that if you can try to avoid obsessing over someone so much, that will just help you realize that there are many cool people out there. So you don’t have only to be stuck up on this one person because they’re not worth obsessing over.
Bonus Tip – Hang Out With Friends
Hanging out with friends is different than hanging out with your boyfriend or girlfriend because you don’t get as many highs and lows. But that’s the thing friends are less likely to have drama and hurt feelings while you can still fight.
You just got to distract yourself, and hanging out with your friends is a great way to do that. I can’t believe I’m about to say this one guy. It’s a way for people to try and meet other people in a very convenient way. I think that’s a great way to move on from someone. Don’t trap yourself in your house.
Liking someone doesn’t have to be weird. That’s something else that used to be very real to me like, oh, I, if you want someone, that’s weird. It’s just like, hey, you feel like going out?
It’s not a big deal. Stop thinking of it as being so weird. Don’t hold onto crushes for a while. I just don’t get it. I’ve talked to people who spoke about how they still reminisce about crushes they had for years, and I’m like, why? That is cringing worthy; stop it. It makes me like I have this ugh, this bodily reaction when people talk about that stuff.
It’s not romantic to have crushed on someone for a while and never have asked them out. It’s also if they reject you in the end, it’s like, who cares? Okay, get over it. It’s not a big deal.
There’s a lot of people out there. I know I’m kicking some people’s butts here, and I might seem harsh. But it’s because I’m reacting against my younger self who thought this stuff was genuine, who was so scared of rejection and so scared to expose that I liked someone and just finish it; there’s no point. Don’t do it. There’s a couple of more points here.
I hope you found this article helpful, and if you’re still kind of have questions or want to talk, I find that the comments of these articles. It always a fantastic place to get additional support and share your story. So don’t feel afraid to do that. Please share this article with your friends that they can move on from their crush and develop themselves.